| DISSONANT | ✔

D|4×

Yasmin's point of view

I look at myself in the mirror, feeling ashamed.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you....."

I remember nazirs's voice. Close my eyes, hugging myself. It's all my fault. If I hadn't went out late, I wouldn't have been assaulted.

I take a deep breath then went out of the bathroom. "Hey, how you?" Sarah asks typing something on her laptop.

"Stop asking." I say sitting down on the bed. "Okay, okay. Guess what?" She turns her chair to face me.

"Elijah just asked me out to a friend's night out and he told me to choose a date." She squeals as I smile.

"You still like him? He sees you as a friend, nothing more." I say rubbing pomade on my body.

"Well, thanks for the encouragement or hope." She turns back to her laptop. "Sorry, you know that's how I am."

I sigh. "When are you going?" I ask, knowing she will talk to me. "I didn't set a date yet."

"Why?"

"I am not in the mood. I want to stay here for a while and study." She says unable to look at me.

She's lying and it's obvious. "Go, I'll be fine. I'll lock the door." I smile at her but she shakes her head.

"Its not because of you, I want to study and I'm not going to leave you, okay? Final."

She lies again. "Sarah, I want us to act like it never happened. I want to forget it if I could and you acting this way isn't helping. If you want to help me, go. Please." I hold her hand.

"That's the least I can do after all you did for me." She nods. "Good, now fix a date. I need you to get ready."

I stand up so I could get clothes to wear. "Where are you going?"

"Um class, duh?" I say searching for a baggy, head to toe clothes. "Are you sure you're ready?"

I look at Sarah with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, okay. My bad." She raises her hands.

I bring out an abaya, I never wore it because it was baggy and I wanted to make some changes to it.

I'll wear a hijab on top of it. I take my books and stood at the door. I take deep breaths before walking out of the room.

I didn't stop to look around, I started walking. I'm just going to the lecture hall and back to the room, that's it.

I was going to pass the place I was assaulted, I tried so hard not to look at it.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you. You're mine......"

I start hyperventilating. I sit down to pull myself together. Its not happening again, its just a flashback. Its in the past.

"Hey." Hafiza says startling me. "Hey, you startled me." I place my hand on my chest.

"Yeah, looked that way." She sits beside me. "What's up?" I say. "Nothing much, you disappeared ne." She furrows her brows.

"I lost my close cousin ne, it hit me hard." I lie. "I'm sorry for your loss, um have you heard?" Hafiza asks coming closer to me.

I move backwards a bit. "There's a rumor that a girl was raped recently so everyone's trying to look for her. Know who she is."

My eyes widened in fear and shock but I have to act cool. "Really? I feel for her, may god punish whoever did this to her. Allah will not let him go. We....the assaulter will not be spared."

I say and she smiles. "You're taking it to heart, its a rumor. We're not sure yet." She nudges me while I look at her with a straight face.

"Its not funny, that girl has been through so much. Taking it to heart? You're a woman, how can you say that? I have to go, goodbye."

I leave, feeling angry. Women should support each other when it comes to this, not make fun of them or make it a joke.

I finish my lectures walking out of the hall. I don't know what the lecturer said most of the time.

I was zoning out. A person pulled me as I feel every part of my body scream. "Let me go!" I tug my arm away from the person before I looked at him.

Zainab. "The hell is wrong with you? You can't just tug someone! Am I doll?!"

I shout as she sighs. "I'm sorry, I wanted to check up on you. How are you?"

She asks looking concerned. She made me feel bad for shouting at her. "I'm fine, why are you being so nice?"

"I heard what happened from Sarah. I'm sorry, I can help you in any way." She taps my shoulder.

"Are you mocking me? Are you the one spreading the rumors?" I ask defensively.

"No, I'm not. I swear on Allah. If I am, may Allah kill me right now. I heard the rumors, some people heard screams. Nothing more, it will die down."

Zainab says looking around. Someone heard? Someone heard yet they couldn't help. They left, to hell with that person?

I smile then took a deep breath. "Thank you but I'm fine. I just need to go to my room and rest."

I turn. "You need to see a therapist. Keeping this to yourself isn't good. You need to tell your parents." She says.

Yasir.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks." I say without looking at her. I walk, pulling out my phone.

I know yasir is unbearable but he is understanding. He will understand this isn't my fault.

"Hello, Yasmin." He says through the phone. "Hello, yasir. I need to tell you something important."

I sit down and explained everything to yasir, I sobbed quietly while I explained some parts.

"Its okay, it isn't your fault but I need to process this. Its not easy."

"I understand but please don't tell anyone. I don't want them to get worried and all."

"It's okay, call you later. Be careful and take care of yourself."

I hang up, feeling relieved when my step sister called me.

"Baba has been trying to call you. What is wrong with you?!" She screams. Salamatu and I have a lot of differences.

She always hated me because I am the last born plus baba favored me amongst my siblings.

"I didn't know, I will call him now. Bye." I hang up before she could say anything.

There are four children and two wives. I have three female step sisters and two of them are married which are; Farida and Faiza.

Salamatu is the youngest and she's 26 years old. I am the only child of my mother.

We are very close even though she is a village woman. I love how she gets fascinated when she sees some things.

At least now I know, my supposed husband knows and if he accepts, that's it. I don't need to tell my parents or his parents.

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