Road Trip | Throne of Glass

Chapter Four

'I need to pee.'

Dorian looked up from his book for a moment. 'Does it ever strike you how these people never need to go piss or seem to mention that subject?'

Celaena tapped her feet. 'It's unnecessary. No one needs to know when they pee. I need to pee, Chaol. Pull over.'

When he didn't reply, she muttered, 'I wish I had a penis.'

Rowan choked on the water he was drinking, launching into a coughing fit. Water sprayed everywhere, and Dorian hissed as a few drops landed on the cover of Divergent.

'What?'

'You know, during journeys, you could just pee into a bottle.'

All the men tried to ignore her prattling as Celaena continued, oblivious to how uncomfortable they all were, 'It's so much easier.'

==========

After they'd shoved Celaena out of the car when she claimed she'd pissed herself a bit, they'd found a space to park under a shady tree.

Rowan had been silent for some while - Dorian realised he was studying the cover of Harry Potter.

'Ooh-'

'How ridiculous is it to have people wave a stick around the place and say bibbity bobbity boo so that hey presto, oh wow he's dead?' Rowan scoffed. 'Rhysand could kill that idiot Voldemort whilst banging Feyre in the sky.'

Chaol launched into a loud coughing fit.

'Why is everyone so obsessed with this Harry Potter series?' Rowan grunted, dangling the book from his fingers.

Dorian gasped. 'How dare you!'

'Why the fuck did you ask him?' Chaol muttered, eyes flashing in exasperation.

Dorian was now attempting aeroplane bombing noises.

'Fangirl alert,' Chaol said.

'Right, Rowan Whitethorn, here's all the reasons why the Harry Potter series is so great. And I don't want contradictions. Number one-'

==========

Celaena returned to the car to find two pissed off men and a slightly-panting Dorian. The sun had moved some distance, so she blamed their attitude on the heat. 'You're lucky I bought water,' she said.

Rowan grabbed a bottle instantly, draining half its contents in a matter of seconds. 'Remind me to never again ask that fangirl,' he growled, slamming the bottle down and jerking a thumb at Dorian, 'a single damn question about books.'

Dorian gave a sheepish smile. 'It wasn't my-'

'Alright. Is everyone ready?'

'No.' That was Dorian's voice again. 'I need to pee,' he said in a small voice.

'Well fuck off and hurry up then!' Chaol groaned, hitting the wheel in frustration.