country fire

How Not To **Marjeo**

Mateo tossed and turned in his sleep restlessly trying to get comfortable. his skin was cold and clammy. he was sweating so much you could fill an entire kitty swimming pool.

"no! no! no! stop!" he said as he thrashed in his bed tiredly.

Marjan woke up to the man throwing himself around in the bed. she sat up as fast as she could and turned on the light scooting herself to the end of there bed as fast as she can.

"Baby? Mateo? sweetheart you need to wake up!" marjan cooed to the man.

Mateo shoot up right faster than a firework on the forth of juli. he was breathing heavily and sweating so bad that his tee-shirt was soaked. he grabbed at the neck of the shirt and quickly pulled it over his head. he through the clovers off of himself as he reached for the light on his side table.

"are you ok 'Teo?" marjan asked a little worried about him.

"yeah i'm fine it was just a nightmare." he said smiling at her a reasheringly. "now come cuddle me. it'll make me forget about everything nd then tomorrow we can relax more"

"Wow you were always so goofy and cheese about these kinds of things." she said rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I love you" he told her "but like I need your cuddles it's life or death!" he said as he dramatically grabbed his chest and flopped down onto the bed.

"what was your dream about baby?" marjan asked him. he propped himself up onto his elbows at her question.

"I don't even remember now. it was probably something stupid that will never happen anyway." he said sitting up the rest of the way.

" you remember. Mateo what was it about? she pushed back at his statement.

she was pushing him. why was she doing this. then it hit him like a freight train. his bad dream came back in flashes. and then he was there again. back into the dream.

____MATEO'S DREAM____

we were in the truck driving to the last call that we had gotten for the day. it was right before the end of our shifts. it was a structure fire in a big building. I was sitting in the truck holding marjan's hand. she was resting her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head as we pulled up to the seen.

"alright! Judd, Paul and Tk I want you guys on the hose and Marjan and Mateo I want yall inside get in and get out!"

"on it cap!" marjan yelled as she headed to the truck to get he SCBA and her axe to break down the doors.

"hey baby?" I said taking a step closer to her.

"what is it Teo?" she said as she slug the tank of air over her shoulder.

"I love you. please be safe!" I begged her.

"I love you to" she said as we ran into the building.

we were almost done doing our search and the fire was all the way out when we started walking to one of the exit. when behind me I hear a big thud and then everything goes black. it was an explosion. I stated running through my mental first responder check list to make sure I didn't have a concoction when it hits me. im Mateo Chaves I work at the 126 im 24 years old me and Marjan were.....

Marjan was missing. I stood up franticly looking for her. it felt like I had been searching for hours. calling her name until my voice was raspy and it was hard to talk. my knees about gave out and all I wanted to do was close my eyes but I knew I couldn't. I had to stay strong. for both of us. I was digging through a pile of mettle when I felt the soft cloth of her hijab. 

"Teo!" she screamed as she through off her helmet and lurched herself into my arms.

"Marjan! baby I thought I lost you forever!" I said with tears starting to form in my eyes. 

I helped her stand up after she insisted that she was fine. we walked for a little bit until I heard her hiss in pain. I looked over my shoulder to see her hunched over and enter a deep coughing fit.

"Marj? are you ok?" I asked as I walked over to her side.

"yeah im fine." she said standing up right again.

"yeah mhm nice try sit down and let me look you over." I commanded her as  made a spot for her to sit on the floor.

"teo im fine rea..." and then she went into another coughing fit. "I have to tell you something"

"what s it?" I asked not really paying attention to her words because I was to busy looking her over.

"i'm pregnant." she spit out dryly. I stopped dead in my tracks as I turned to face her.

"really?!?!"

"yeah" she said coughing again. "but you need to know that there's no way that I can make it out of this alive. I cant feel my legs right and i have a popped lung now and the building is to unstable to climb and by the time rescue gets here i'll be gone."

"oh" was all he could choke out. he scooted closer to her allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder again. "i'm going to get you out of this. you just have to hold on for me." he said as tears ran down both of there cheeks.

"i love you so much teo." she said as she took in another shaky breath.

"I love you to" he said rubbing a thumb over her engagement ring. "more than you will ever know."

she took in one shaky last breath and felt her eyes grow heavy. at this point Mateo had came to the conclusion that there was no way that she would make it out of this alive. but god he wish there was a way. a way that he could stop and not have to face reality. he placed his head on top of hers and kissed her lips one last time. 

____________

Mateo snapped out of his thoughts. everything seeming a lot more real.

"that's why you wanted me to remember." he said tears gathering in his eyes. marjan was standing in front of the window on the far side of there bed room. the moonlight making her look elegant and perfect. reflecting to a slight baby bump that Mateo had not noticed before.

"you need to let me go teo" she said calmly. her beautiful brown eyes looking sad and yet hopeful at the same time.

"I can't"

"yes you can" she said taking a step closer

"I don't know how to. I cant stop myself from thinking about you late at night and then I cry" he said stopping dead in his tracks when she got even closer.

"I will always be with you Mateo. and I will always be watching out for you. watching over you like im still here" she said placing a hand on his chest and giving him a quick peck on the lips and one on the cheek. "right here"

Mateo held her hand there for a few more minutes before he spoke up finally. "I love you so much marjan" he said tears spilling out of his eyes. he pulled her in for one last quick hug.

"I love you to baby." she said movie her hand away slowly. Mateo closed his eyes hopping he could make it all come back. that it wouldn't be real. he finally found the courage to whisper a hushed coo to the shadows hopping that she could still hear him. he slowly slid down the wall and then looked outside at the big white moon and the beautiful stars that are like diamonds that sparkle like marjan's eyes used to.

"Always"