Ulysses Paradox (a Will Lenney fanfiction.)

chapter eleven

She called Jake when she woke up and told him about the party, the free drinks, and about Jane. He told her about his plane ride and the wintery Italian countryside. She told him about Will's house and meeting his friends. She left out the parts he wouldn't want to know and threw up after he'd said goodbye.

Maria came over and Will broke up with her after fucking her in the same spot on the couch where he'd fucked Ruby. She cried and asked him why and he couldn't bring himself to tell her so he just said that he didn't know. He didn't, really. He didn't know who he had become in the last few weeks. He turned off his phone because Maria told his friends and now they wanted to know what was going on and he didn't want to say it over and over again to everyone. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

He hadn't been able to articulate to Ruby and whatever he'd ended up saying was wrong, so now he couldn't call her either. He didn't want to interrupt her. She was completely separate from his normal life, another world away. She was a different type of person and one he would likely never run into again if he didn't want to. But he did want to see her again. He had even told her so. Will had thought they were going to fuck again at her apartment and then she told him to leave instead and he was confused.

Someone knocked at his door. When he didn't answer, they knocked again.

"Will? Are you in there?" James asked, his voice muffled by the door.

"No." He called back. The door handle turned and Will groaned because he hadn't locked it when he'd gotten home.

"Hey." Said James. Will begrudgingly greeted him, but felt better knowing he was there, possibly the only person he could talk to about this without word getting around to everyone else. James had always been a good friend and confidant. He sat by Will on the couch.

"We..." He started and he couldn't say it out loud. It felt terrible to admit.

"Oh my god." James said, understanding anyway. Will was grateful, sort of. "When? Before or after you broke up with Maria?"

James once again understood his silence. "You're a much shittier person than I thought you were then." Will winced. "You don't get to sit here and feel sorry for yourself much now, you've fucked up and you've got to deal with those consequences."

"Oi, you don't have to be a twat about it, alright?"

"You just seem very upset for someone who made an objectively bad decision."

"Yeah." Said Will. "It's because I went and made an objectively bad decision."

James allowed him this, and didn't make any further comments until Will decided to talk, hoping to come a conclusion of sorts.

"I just feel like I made the right decision at the end, you know, with Maria. It wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't fair to keep leadin her around like it was." James nodded. It felt clinical and Will considered that he could really use a proper therapist so he didn't have to keep asking his friends, but that took effort.

"It's not like Ruby really wanted anything to do with me, anyway. She sent me away when I tried to go and explain myself."

"You mean you went over after you broke up with Maria?"

"Yeah."

"She's got a full on boyfriend. Were you thinking she would just find a whim within herself to leave him for you? You can't expect everyone to do exactly what you want. Ruby especially doesn't seem like that type."

"Well you know, I was just hoping. I think I did the right thing by breaking up with Maria and I got my end of the stick for doin it in the first place when Ruby didn't want anything to do with me after."