Ulysses Paradox (a Will Lenney fanfiction.)

chapter ten

It was around eleven in the morning and Will had moved to sit at his computer desk, staring blankly at his computer mouse. He didn't think about Maria. He couldn't. Not when he'd just been consumed by a fire that burned into him so deeply it felt like a drag off a cigarette. Maria didn't feel like that. Ruby was pulling on a pair of joggers he'd given her, a sweater, and a pair of socks.

"I don't have any shoes." She said, and this pulled him out of his head long enough to think about what was happening in front of him.

"You can borrow some slides," he said, pointing back into the closet. "They might be too big but nobody'll notice, especially if you're just goin back to your place." Ruby mumbled her thanks and Will couldn't bring himself to stand up and meet her in the middle of his bedroom and grab her in his arms and kiss her again until he couldn't breathe even though he wanted to. He moved his eyes to his computer screen, where his own face glanced at him. He quickly turned away.

"I'm gonna leave then," Ruby said. They were quiet for a moment. Ruby had a boyfriend to go back to, a boyfriend who asked her about marriage and took her out for dinner and had known her for years. Will thought he must not be that great if he could get up right now and snog her and she would kiss him back. He wanted a cigarette.

Ruby was still waiting for him, standing awkwardly in the doorway. She was wearing one of his sweaters. He liked that one. It looked normal on Ruby, who was tall and lanky with small boobs and small hips. She was not particularly beautiful and seeing her in his sweater made Will feel sick because he didn't know what he had just done. Maria always looked beautiful in his clothes, like a gift waiting to be unwrapped.

"Right okay, let's get you out of here then." He cringed at his own words but Ruby didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, probably best for both of us." She laughed at her comment and it gave Will permission to laugh too. Ruby had her dress in her hands and her purse clutched under her arm.

"So," Will started. "Let's uh... let's talk later then." He felt himself blushing and this moment felt like a scene from grade school superimposed onto something dark, corrupt and inappropriate. Ruby nodded. Will started kissing her again and thought that was good enough, and maybe he hadn't actually wanted a cigarette. 

He couldn't keep himself from touching her, reaching under his sweater and holding onto her hips and then pulling her closer. It wasn't close enough, he wanted more. He wasn't sure where this desperation was coming from but he knew it was terrible of him to keep allowing himself to give in. Ruby's boyfriend had already claimed her as his own.

Will collapsed onto the sofa the moment Ruby left, his mind spinning as he tried to decide what to do. He was already under scrutiny from fans and friends alike who were trying to figure out what was going on in his relationship with Maria, and now he had gone and added another piece to the puzzle. 

Maria was beautiful, it was easy for Will to be attracted to her—everyone was. She had a beautiful smile and cocoa thighs that gave way to full hips, and she was beautiful. All his friends would look and glance away quickly when she walked into a room, and that made him feel amazing, because he got to keep looking.

Of course, last night Ruby also turned heads, and this time all of his friends stared and didn't feel like they had to look away and rage crept into his blood just thinking about one of his friends laying their hands on her. Will had watched them follow Ruby around the room with their eyes, offering her drinks and a place to sit, a place to hang her coat. She was very graceful when she walked and always polite. He liked that about her. He finally picked up his phone and saw several messages. Maria wanted to know where he was, how the event had gone, when she could come over.