Tadi pagi, kita chat seperti biasa. Tadi pagi, kita membahas persiapan sidang kamu. Kamu meminta bantuanku untuk review hasil revisi mu sebelum diberikan ke pembimbing. Setelah semua selesai, tersisa lah rekaman video yang diperuntukkan sidang online besok lusa. You ask for my selfie. I gave it to you, of course. Then, you said,
"kamu habis nangis? Ada apa?"
Dan ku berpikir, sejelas itukah? Apakah selama ini terlihat? Bahwa aku tiap malam menangis? Bahkan baru - baru ini kusadari, frekuensi menangis ku bertambah sering.
Dan saat ini, saat ku menuliskan ini.. baru saja ku menangis. Untuk ke-4 kalinya ku menangis hari ini.
Do you wanna know why I'm crying? It's because I guess I've losing you. I think you've gone. Tadi, ku tak sengaja membaca post di platform kita biasa chatting. Disitu tertulis bagaimana sang pria berubah sikapnya menjadi lebih dingin daripada dirinya yang dulu. Dan membuat sang wanita berpikir bahwa kau telah pergi dan berujung pada perpisahan.
I sent it to you. And you mad at me. Because we're still in a relationship. You blame me because you said I didn't understand your condition. Yeah. It's my fault. Again.
It's always like that right.
Lalu ku pergi, tak membaca chat terakhir mu. Akhirnya, kau pun mulai chat duluan. Saying sorry. But it feels empty. No sincere in your word. I feel that.
I'm in the crossroad again. Is he still in love with me? Or not? What if I continue this relationship, we'll be hurted by each other more? And another 'what if' that come to my mind. It's too much, i can't say all of 'em.
I love you, but i feel the color in our relationship is slowly lose their color and turning into grey.
Is it true my moon?
YOU ARE READING
My Weird Mind
Non-FictionRandom thought. I'll be update this when I want to. So, I hope whoever you are who read this don't be disappointed.
