𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆?

we can never be friends

you're sweating, your fingers glide against the floor as you slide back, standing again, running towards ren. attempting to strike him with your saber, he blocks it with his own.

"god damnit!" you yell.

"you aren't trying hard enough. use the force. do t be afraid of it." ren says. you reach your hand out and use it to push him back, going to strike at his side. stopping yourself before you can hit him.

"very good. that's enough for today." ren says, extinguishing his saber, you do the same. you push your hair out of your face, leaving the training quarters. wearing a black long sleeve with black shorts and black boots. marching down to your quarters. desperate for a shower. you spot her.

quinn.

you snarl your nose. ren following behind you.

"kylo i want to kill her."

"do it if you must." he responds. you look down at your hand, the gold ring still wrapped around your middle finger.

armitage.

you had seen him a number of times after the incident. you are still his assistant. but when you were around him you tried to think of anything and everything but him. anything but what happened. thinking about ren and training and anything but him. the one time you did hux walked to you as you were leaving, shutting the door.

"general hux i have to leave." you say, tears welling i. your eyes again. one hand on your saber. ready to ignite it if you have to.

"please just listen to me. words alone cannot express how sorry i am. she came into me. nothing else ever happened just please- forgive me y/n" he pleads. his voice breaking. a tear falling down his cheek.

"just let me leave armitage." you choke out. he lets go of the door, letting you leave. you rushed back to ren's quarters and changed quickly into training clothes.

"i need to practice." you say to him. he stands to follow.

"alone."

and that's how you ended up on the floor of the training quarters, equipment destroyed, sobbing.

you had been practicing with a droid, practicing saber techniques. thinking about armitage. you were fueled with anger. slicing the droid in half, destroying all the other equipment at it. dropping to the floor, into your knees. the tears streaming down your face, shaking. taking the ring off to hold it in your palm. his voice rings through your head.

"my girl."

you collect yourself and slip the ring back onto your finger. walking back to yours and reba shared quarters.

"there's going to be a party tonight. do you want to go?" ren asks as you walk into the room.

"fine. we'll go." you say.

"first though." you walk to him on the bed and straddle his hips. kissing him. his hands slide under your shirt, on your back. he deepens the kiss and grinds his hips upward into you. you pull away and get off of his lap. going to to take a quick shower.

you get ready. putting on your makeup, making yourself look elegant, you have to, being alongside the supreme leader. a long strapless black dress with a long slit up the side, exposing your leg. a red corset over the dress.

"you look lovely." ren smiles, wearing a black suit. he escorts you to the party.

hux was there of course. with someone. some other girl.

it boiled your blood to the core.

you squeeze rens arm.

"don't pay attention to him."

"i'll try not to." you say, walking away to get drinks for the two of you. bringing one back to ren. he makes sure to make eye contact with hux before kissing you on top of the head.

hux sends glares in rens direction. rens drink is knocked out of his hand.

hux puts his arm around the other girls waist.

you check the time.

11:57 pm.

how long to you have to be here?