𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆?

speeches

today was the day for armitage to give his speech. it was to the whole order. he was nervous. dreadfully nervous. shaking even. you both showered together. with you reassuring him over and over that everything would be alright.

he dressed himself in his uniform, slicking his hair back, he looked neat, but he felt terrified. the time passed then the two of you headed to base, all the troopers and staff were there. you watched from behind him as he spoke.

"the end of the allegiance between the first order and other remaining systems is now exempt. we stand against them, as they have betrayed us. with each system failing us, we must obliterate them. end the resistance. the systems will stand with the first order or they will perish!" he speaks, his voice shaking. he was so afraid of messing up.

the two of you headed back to the finalizer. as soon as the two of you stepped into your quarters, his breathing became frantic. he sat down on his bed, gripping his knees harshly, tears welling in his eyes, his throat felt like it was closing. armitage was sweating. he removed his coat, a high necked shirt remaining. you knelt by him.

"armitage, are you okay?" you ask, your voice completely filled with worry. you knew what was going on, he was having a panic attack. you'd experienced them yourself. you grabbed him a glass of water and helped him take off his shirt to cool down. you knelt back down by him. lightly placing your hands on his, tears streaming down his face, he grips your hands tightly.

"i cant breathe." he swallows. you squeeze his hands. helping him breathe. he eventually calmed down enough to talk to you. sipping on water. it hurt you seeing him like that. he was hurting. he was afraid.

"i cant keep fighting with this." he speaks, his voice low.

"fighting with what love?"

"the first order."

your breathing stilled. you looked up at him.

"what do you mean?"

"i have to confess something."

"armitage, before you say anything. i would follow you to the ends of the galaxy and any system in the universe if it meant i could be with you forever."

"i'm a spy for the resistance." he says. you could almost see the weight come off his shoulders.

"darling, i-i don't know what to say."

"if you want to end things now, i understand if your devotion is completely to the first order."

"my devotion is to you armitage."

he smiled.

"i'll join you." you say, softly. he holds your face, looks into your eyes. he whispers.

"i am so incredibly infatuated with you."

you blush. kissing his lips softly. he pulls you up onto his lap. wrapping his arms around your waist holding you in a tight hug. you could read his thoughts, he wanted to say it. he wanted to say the four letter word. he didn't though. it was killing him from the inside out without having you know what he really wanted to say.

"armitage, you can say it."

"were you in my head?"

"armitage. please say it. i want to hear you say it."

his eyes scan your face. brushing a stray hair behind your ear, looking into your eyes. he smiles.

"you have no idea how much you mean to me. you are my light, you fill me with so much joy, you make my heart skip a beat, you make me feel warm when the whole world feels like ice, and not to mention that wonderful pussy of yours." he pauses, you laugh.

"from day one, when i first read your thoughts in that closet, from the first touch. with every touch you placed on my skin, it set my soul ablaze. you made me feel things that nobody had ever felt before." tears were in your eyes. happy tears, you had never been told anything like that before. he wiped away your tears with his thumbs, kissing your lips gently.

"y/n, my darling, my sweetheart, my babygirl. i love you. with all my heart, from your head to your toes, i love you. i love everything about you. i love you. and only you."

"i love you too armitage." you smile, pressing your forehead against his, gently kissing him.

that night, the two of you made love, he was gentle and sweet, tender, holding you close, whispering sweet nothings to you, soft praises, his gentle moans filling the quiet air. he told you he loved you so many times that night. and you always said it back. after the two of you finished, he cleaned you up, and held you close as the two of you slept.

you couldn't be happier.

i love you armitage hux.