In Another Life

1: Is it really just a dream?

Tyrese

"I had a weird dream last night."

"Ohhh." Tiningnan niya ako. "Ano 'yun, apo?"

"Well, there was a guy. Uhmm... oh, and a kid! They were both watching the sunrise on top of the mountain. It was so vivid, pero alam niyo po kung ano yung mas weird? My heart ached. I even cried when I woke up even though they looked peaceful." I sighed. "Ewan. It was just a dream, but I find it weird that I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not usually like this po."

Lolo John chuckled. "Hindi mo sila kilala?"

Umiling-iling ako. "No, sir. Kahit yung mga naging pasyente ko before, naaalala ko pa rin pag nakita ko ulit, pero sila? Hindi talaga. Baka kasi nakatalikod sila?"

"Nakakatakot ka namang nurse," aniya. "Naaalala mo talaga lahat? Ako nga, wala na masyadong maalala." Sabay kamot sa batok niya. "Teka. Ano na ngang pinag-uusapan natin?"

Lolo John was one of my long-term patients. He had cardiac surgery 6 days ago, but I had known him for 3 years already. He was one of my first patients after I graduated Bachelor of Nursing. Pabalik-balik kasi siya dito. By the way, he also has dementia, but he's aware of it.

Despite his illnesses, he had remained wise and gentle. He seemed like a level-headed type of guy. I liked talking to him; it felt warm.

"We were talking about my dream po last night," sagot ko.

"Ahhh, oo nga. Baka naman importante sila sa'yo noon?"

"Noon?" I asked. I really couldn't remember meeting them.

"Oo, in your past life."

"Ah. Reincarnation?" I clarified. "Naniniwala ka doon, sir?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Bakit naman hindi? Wala naman masama, 'di ba?"

I smiled. Iba-iba naman tayo ng mga paniniwala. Ang pagkakaalam ko nga, wala naman talagang ibig sabihin ang mga panaginip. They're only random images. Gawa-gawa lang siya ng utak natin. Complicated kasi tayo, 'di ba?

"Basta ako, pag wala na ako sa mundong 'to, gusto ko maging dagat," he added. I turned to look at him, and he looked so calm and satisfied.

"I want to be a sun," I excitingly told him.

When I got home, I painted my dream. Painting was one of my sidelines. I would either sell my pieces online or go to one of my favourite galleries to sell them. Someday, I would like to have my own art gallery and retail store.

Painting had always been my stress-reliever. After a long day at work, instead of resting in bed, I'd be more relaxed whenever I would paint. Being a nurse was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Not an easy job especially if you get attached easily. I would get attached easily kaya nga kailangan ko humanap ng coping mechanism.

I was lucky to have a supportive family and adequate resources to buy my needs and wants, such as buying a meditation app, PlayStation and art materials. I would also volunteer because I felt like I needed to give back. I was aware of my privilege, so I wanted to provide access to other people who lack it given that they had less opportunities. Hindi naman lahat, nakukuha sa pagsisikap. Minsan, walang-wala lang talaga sila.

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Aunt Teri was one my favorite artists in the Philippines. Sa kanya rin yung sinasabi kong paborito kong art gallery kung saan ko binebenta yung mga paintings ko. Syempre, hindi naman lahat, pasado. Para rin siyang research paper na kailangan ko i-revise pag hindi nagustuhan ng professor dahil hindi pasado sa standards niya ang gawa ko.