Summary: Harry wants to be more intimate with Louis but he doesnt know Lou's deepest secret
Trigger warning⚠️️: Mentions of rape
Louis pov
I wrapped my arms around Harry's neck kissing him deeply, our tongues danced as his hands travel down my side. I tense up as his hand connects to my bum, he notices my reaction and pulls back. He had such a worried look on his face, I felt guilty.
"Are you okay?" he asked, I nodded yes but the thing is I'm not okay and I don't think I'll ever will.
Harry and I have been dating for some time now, recently Harry's been wanting to get more...intimate. I know Harry wouldn't do something I wouldn't too but I thought the same thing when I trusted that person. Harry doesn't know about this, mostly because I don't want him to look at me different.
"Yea, I need to go. My mom wants be home around 6" I said, I got up off his bed giving him a quick kiss before heading out the door.
Greg, the man who made my life a living well, the man who gave me trust issues in adults, the man who caused me so much pain. Greg was a friend of my mom's from High school, he had just recently moved in the neighborhood, so my him and my decided to hang out.
Greg was cool, very laid back. I actually wanted this man to become my stepdad, he made my mom so happy. She hadn't been that happy since dad left, and I knew Greg would be the perfect man for her. He treated her like a queen and always took her on dates.
I began to trust him to the point we did everything together, my friends thought it was weird at how close we were. Greg and I was very affectionate to one another but he was affectionate with everyone, that was until Greg sneaked into my room at night and did what he what ever wanted to me every night for 6 months.
He blamed me saying I was teasing him since the moment we met, and the only reason why he dated my mom was to get closer to me. I was disgusted, I told him I didn't want him like that nor did I ever teased him but he said otherwise bringing up all these "moments" were I teased him. For the longest time I thought it was my fault for him wanting to touch me.
He threatened me not to tell my mom anything or he'll do the same to the girls. I'd never want them to go through what I went through because it is traumatizing. Even to this day I could feel his hands on me, I felt dirty and used. Months went by I wasn't the same anymore, I used to always be happy but now I'm always sad.
My mom found out when she woke up in the middle of the night and saw Greg was not there and went looking for him. She couldn't find him so she went into my room to ask for help, and then chaos broke loose. My mom made me tell everything and Greg was sent to prison, he was going to go anyway the motherfucker admitted while having a smirk on his face the whole time. He knew he was going to prison but he was happy that he was able to take my innocence before then.
"Lou, if Harry loves you then he wouldn't leave you" my mom said, I didn't know what to do. I feared loosing the person who put me back together, I didn't want shatter like before.
"Teenagers don't want to deal with other people's baggage that only works in films" I said rolling my eyes while my arms were crossed against my chest.
"Listen you might think Harry would leave you, but I've seen the wake he looks at you. He looks at you as if you held the moon, Harry told me that he'd rather die than hurt you" she puts a hand on my knee, I tenses up. She frowns and pulls back; I hate to make her sad. Ever since what happened I didn't trust adults.
"He really said that?" she nodded. I sighed
Harry and I met during photography class, I was still so depressed that then and I went to therapy all the time. Harry did an assignment on broken things and choose me; I wasn't to thrill back then in fact I hated him for picking me. My teachers gave up trying to include me on activities or work in general, I had not been motivated. So, when Harry kept pestering me about me modeling more him, I finally gave in.
I never expected for him to change my life around, it took time for me to trust him and he knew that and let me take my time. He made me so happy and always made sure to get me out the house so I wouldn't be alone with my thoughts. He brought joy and happiness back into my life, I do have those days when I'm too depressed to get out of bed. So, Harry just stays by me and cuddles me the whole time, his arms made me felt safe, and I haven't felt that in a long time.
After what happened with Greg, our home didn't feel like a home anymore. It felt like my own personal hell, a consistent reminder of what happened in this house. I couldn't sleep in my bed anymore, I feared that he walked back into that door and hurt me. I had night terrors, I looked like a zombie from not getting any sleep. Harry knows I'm going through something but not exactly what.
"Harry deserves to know" I said quietly, mom nodded.
Time skip
The next day it was cool, I see Harry standing near my locker. I went over to him and saw he looked conflicted.
"Are we okay?" his question came unexpected
"Of course, we are" who am I kidding, we have lots to discuss.
"I don't think so, every time we even get remotely intimate you pull away from me" I nodded and pulled him into the nearest janitors closet.
"The reason...I don't want to have sex is because" I stuttered, I began to tear up, my lip trembled. He quickly pulled me into his arms as I sobbed. He stroked my head, I pulled away because I needed to say this.
"Two years ago, I molested by mom boyfriend, he came into my room every night and did horrible things to me...I don't want to explain it, but he said I was teasing him. I was only 14 and he took something so important" I wiped my tears, he looked shocked. His eyes glossy as if he want to cry.
"He raped you?" I nodded, Harry sobbed and pulled back into his arms rocking us back and forth.
"Oh Louis, why didn't you tell?"
"I didn't want you to leave me or thought I was disgusting" I said in between my sobs, he pulls away and takes my head into the palm of his hands.
"Louis you are not disgusting...ever. This wasn't your vault and I love you so much Louis you don't understand. Is he in jail?" I nodded, he let out a sigh of relief.
"We'll go at your pace okay" I nodded again, what did I do to deserve this man. I leaned forward and kissed him with all my might until our lips were both bruised.
"I love you so much Harry"
"I love you too" kissing my forehead. We stood there in the janitors closet with my head resting on his chest and arms wrapped tightly around his waist. His head leaning on mines as his arms wrapped around my shoulder, I love him so much. He's my purpose, my everything...my Harry.
A/N: I hoped you guys enjoyed the one shot. And if you guys are going through anything don't be afraid to text me on my ig.
National sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Love ya and stay safe💙💚
