I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough by itjustkindahappened on Ao3
Trigger/ Eating disorder
Summary : Louis has an eating disorder and Harry can’t keep pretending to be oblivious anymore.
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Harry knows there is something wrong with Louis because of following reasons;
First, his smile isn’t quite as crinkly-eyed.
Second, he showers for way too long and Harry is never allowed in with him anymore.
Third, he flinches whenever Harry touches him.
Fourth, Harry could’ve sworn he was a step away from passing out the other day in that one interview.
And fifth, Louis hadn’t had a proper meal in Harry’s presence for two months.
And like, Harry isn’t stupid, is the thing. He knows every inch of Louis by heart, every rise-and-fall of his chest and every movement and reaction and twinkle of his eyes.
And Harry knows Louis has been getting thinner. More than noticeably so. His cheeks seem hollow and skin strained. His wrists looks like they could break with a little flick of the hand and Harry is still grieving the loss of his adorable little tummy, because it is certainly not there anymore.
It’s killing them both, Harry knows. This whole hiding thing. He’s hurting from it, too. When he’s walking aimlessly around in Los Angeles and his hands are emptily absent from the longed for heat and light pressure of a smaller hand holding them, swaying back and forth along his sides and the air is running through the spaces in between his fingers, and the hand he so desperately misses is currently across the globe, holding someone else’s. The delicate, manicured fingers of Eleanor Calder, and oh wouldn’t Harry love to be a girl sometimes. Then he would be able to love Louis publically.
But he’s not hurting like Louis is, because Harry doesn’t have to always act strong and tough all the time. Harry allows himself to be weak at times. Harry allows himself to cry when it’s all too much.
Louis doesn’t.
Harry remembers how Louis’ food habits first had started changed during the Take Me Home Tour. He would be snappier and irritable first of all, even towards Harry at some rare points, and he’d binge eat. Preferably sugary or fried stuff. He’d started to put on weight, and it’s wasn’t that noticeable, really. Harry was pretty sure he was the only one who actually questioned his eating.
But then it had just taken a swift turn, he guesses. Harry remembers now how Louis would come out of the bathroom after being in there a little bit too long, and his eyes would be a bit red and his lips a bit wetter and his voice slightly raspier.
Harry wouldn’t say anything.
Slowly, he’d stop one little thing at a time. He’d lay off the binge eating, first of all, and Harry was silently relieved because he thought, this is good. Things are looking up.
But then Louis would start waking up earlier than him, claiming to already have eaten breakfast when Harry asked or attempted to make something for him, which was a little weird, because Harry would always make them breakfast and they’d always eat it together.
