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"HOW WAS YOUR first day?" my mom asks at dinner.

"It was good. I have a friend group." I smile. "Actually, they invited me to hang out Friday night. There's this party." I tell them. 

"Really? A party?" my dad asks. 

"Yes." I nod. 

"You haven't gone to a party since tenth grade." Mom tells me as if I haven't already thought about this. 

"Yeah, I know Mom. And I know what you're gonna say. That maybe I'm not ready or that I shouldn't jump into something like this too quickly. But I'm not going to let my past determine what I will or won't do. It's prevented me from living my life long enough. Which is why I need to go to this party, if you'll let me. Not only to be able to hang out with people outside of school and to also have a social life, but to not only have a negative memory of the outcome of the last party I went to. I need to replace it with a positive memory and have a fun time." I tell them. 

"Okay honey, as long as you're ready for this. But are they nice girls?" she asks.

I guess I forgot to mention to her that my friend group doesn't consist of any girls but that it consists of guys. Maybe they'll freak out and not let me go. But it's not like I can lie about who my friends are.

"The guys are cool." I shrug, and I can practically see dad almost choke on his food. 

"Absolutely not." he says. "Need I remind you that a boy started the whole mess at your last school? And yes, I know that both boys and girls were the center of the aftermath, but who's to say that these guys are good guys and that they mean well? You've only known them a day." 

"C'mon Dad, they're nice." I insist. 

"Look. I'll let you go but if any one of them mistreat you, or if something bad comes out of this, you won't be hanging out with any one of them ever again, and you'll just have to find a new friend group. I don't want the same thing happening again if I can help it." He says sternly. 

"Obviously, Dad, but that's not gonna happen, okay?" I say. 

"Okay." He relents, and I wonder if I should be more concerned about what could happen with the guys.

But I just have this feeling that I have nothing to worry about and I shouldn't spend my next two years of high school worrying about every little thing because of my two years of high school that were bad. The feeling in my gut is telling me that the guys will be there for me, and if by the end of the week, I get a feeling that I shouldn't go to the party with them or that I shouldn't be hanging out with them, I'll stop hanging out with them. I'm sure there are other people to hang out with, but that's the worst-case scenario and I don't have to worry about that right now.

**********

Friday comes soon enough. I struggle to pick an outfit this morning. I don't want to show up under-dressed, but at the same time I don't want to be over-dressed either. Deciding on something in the middle, I settle on something casual but still nice. It may only be the first week of September, but it's already starting to cool down with the temperature landing at around 12 degrees celsius today.

"Whose party is it anyways?" I ask Luke as we make our way to my car after school. He doesn't have a car of his own, just his parent's car that he's allowed to borrow on occasion. And, since it's a little chilly out, I decided to give him a ride home before I drive home myself. Then I'll go back to pick him up this evening, so we can drive to the party together. "Merissa Nolan's." he says. "Who's that?" I ask, unlocking the car doors. "You've been here for a week and you don't know who Merissa Nolan is?" he asks, getting into the car. "No, I'm trying to avoid anyone that isn't you, Forest, Ian or Tyson." I say. "Why is that, anyways?" he asks. "I've had some bad experiences in the past." I shrug. He doesn't push any further about it which I'm thankful for.

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