Nightmares To Daydreams

Chapter Ten

   It had been a few weeks since you and Spencer decided to have fake partners and by now the team 'knew' about them. As the team was flying back from a case Jj, Emily, and Tara were pressing you for details about your new man.

   "Can you at least give us a name?" Whined Emily. "Or a general description?" Added Tara. You scoffed "you guys are impossible. Fine. His name is Jackson." You felt eyes on you, when you glanced around you saw Spencer and knew he was listening. "He's about 6 foot with blonde hair and blue eyes. Gives off surfer dude vibes," Spencer raised his eyebrow at your description while the girls began cooing over Jackson.

   "What's up with the 'surfer dude vibes'?" Spencer asked teasingly as you unlocked the door to your apartment. You rolled your eyes "I was just trying to make it the opposite of you," you said but the look on his face made you immediately regret your words. "Not that there's anything wrong with you I just thought they would be less likely to figure it out if it wasn't like you," you were rambling trying to make the words come out right. "Wow. This is the first and only time you will ever be smarter than me," he said chuckling, upon receiving your quizzical look he continued "when Morgan was bugging me I made up someone pretty damn close to you,"

   You were back at work dropping off paperwork in Hotch's office when you noticed Emily walking towards you. "Hey Em," you greeted her as she slipped her paperwork into the office.

   "Soo you got any plans with Jackson this weekend?" She crooned causing you to sigh. "Unfortunately no. He's running errands Saturday and, don't tell anyone but I was thinking of surprising him with his favorite flowers on Sunday" Emily guffawed at your revelation. "Flowers? Isn't that like his job?"

   "You know considering you're the residential lesbian I would imagine you would be the one most down with this," you said laughing which earned a playful elbow to the ribs while you both began the walk towards the parking lot. "Hey!  I was just wondering how you knew what his favorite flower was." Ah the question you'd hoped she'd miss, but of course she wouldn't.

   Your mind travelled back to the day Spencer snuck up on you looking through flower lists on your phone. "What's all this about?" He had asked casually sitting on the bed beside you. "I just like flowers a lot," you mumbled quietly feeling embarrassed of your somewhat strange hobby. "What's your favorite?" He asked immediately, subconsciously leaning towards you, eyes focused on the list. You smiled brightly and placed a kiss softly on his cheek before showing him all of your favorite flowers. When you were done he showed you a simple lavender claiming it to be his favorite.

   "Hello. Earth to y/n." Emily was snapping her fingers in your face. "Uhm what?" You asked quickly trying to recall where you two had been in conversation. "I said how do you know what his favorite flower is?" She asked sounding exasperated but entertained. "He saw me making bouquets and we started talking about it." You lied smoothly. "Okay. And what is it? Come on girl I'm dying here you gotta give me some details," she was always so dramatic when it came to this stuff. "Lavender," you answered simply starting your car.

   Saturday passed quickly. You spent most of the day cleaning your apartment. The dishes were stacked to the cieling and the laundry was overflowing the hamper. That was one of the drawbacks no one talked about with work, hardly any time for cleaning. After you finally put the last load of laundry in the dryer you sat down on the couch turning on an old horror movie.

   You awoke to your phone buzzing on the coffee table in front of you. You checked the time; 7:00 pm. "Hello?" You slurred groggily into the reciever. "Why hello darling. Did I wake you?" Spencer's voice asked sweetly. "Oh! Hey Spence. Yeah sorry I took a nap. How was your day?" "It was slow. I missed you" he said it as if he was admitting the biggest defeat in the world. You knew after Maeve he had trouble trusting people, but rather than cry you decided to laugh "I missed you too love. What are you doing tomorrow?" You asked sweetly but froze when you felt him freeze on the other end. "I'm busy tomorrow," he said quickly. "Uhm okay. Hey I'm gonna hop off here so I can shower and then go back to sleep since someone woke me," you jabbed trying to lighten the mood, it seemed to work as he laughed "goodnight then," there was a slight pause and just before you could respond he added "I love you," and hung up.

   It was sweet and probably just a slip, but it freaked you out. Sure you had been dating for close to three months now, but Spencer didn't have a monopoly on the trust issues market. It scared you that he'd said it. It made you incredibly happy that he'd said it. Most of all it made you feel entirely guilty for not saying it back. You reminded yourself for the thousandth time that he hung up first and there was no time for you to say it.

   As you curled up in bed you thought only of how blissfully happy it made you that Spencer loved you.

   You awoke Sunday morning to the sunlight streaming in through your mostly closed curtains. Yawning as you stood, you opened the curtains in an attempt to wake yourself up. By the time you had slid into a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a simple beige top you were fully awake. Grabbing your keys off the counter you headed down to the boutique that split the difference between Spencer and your's houses. The bouquet was even prettier than you could ever imagine. Bright purple lavender at the center with short, white Shasta daisies in a short ring around them. The vase had a gorgeous purple ribbon tied into a simple bow.

   You felt giddy as you walked up the steps, flowers in hand, to Spencer's apartment. Just before knocking you heard commotion from within and voices. He was probably just watching tv. Still you couldn't help but check the door handle. It was unlocked. Genius Dr. Spencer Reid left the door unlocked? You slid the door slowly open to find Jj laying across Spencer's chest on the couch.

   They turned at your gasp and both shot up. "Liar!" You yelled slamming the vase on the table by the door and rushing back to your car. Swiping at the angry tears that refused to stop rushing down your face you turned the radio all the way up in an effort to drown out the soul crushing reality. Spencer had cheated on you.

   You couldn't go back to your apartment just in case either of them tried to find you. Dialing your best friends number with shakey hands you attempted to stifle the sobs racking your body. "Hey Y/n what's up?" She answered on the second ring. "Hey Devin. Can I come over?" You said between sniffles. There was a pause. "Of course. . .what happened?" She asked trying not to be nosy, but Devin hated being left out of the drama. "It's a long story. I'll explain when I get there." And with that you hung up the phone.

   After explaining it all to Devin you layed across her couch, head in her lap while you watched some tv show that both of you were missing because of the heartwrenching sobs ripping you apart.

   Monday you called in sick and returned to your apartment. They would both have to be at work so you knew you wouldn't be bothered. You were past the heartbreak and now you were pissed. Pissed at Spencer for lying. Pissed at Jj for betraying not only you but Will and her kids. Most of all you were pissed at yourself for ever letting Spencer in. You couldn't help but go over the first night he stayed over in your head and wish you could have told him to go home.

   In your anger you decided to rearrange your bedroom. He didn't deserve to have been there and damn it you were gonna erase every piece of him from the room. The bed had been pushed from the center of the room to under the window and the dressers were moved from under the tv to the wall the door was on. Just to be thorough you switched all the drawers around within the dresser.

   It was late Monday night and you were laying in bed debating calling in tomorrow as well. No you decided. No you would not sit around and let then run you out of the job you fought so hard to get. You would return, and you would be the best damn profiler they had ever seen.