The Lover's Diaries

I Can Top That

"You feelin' okay, Lins? Ya look a little pale." My best friend, Brie, asks as we walk out of out psych class together.
"I've just been feeling really sick for a few weeks. It's really weird," I hold the door open for her, and I shoulder through it behind her. "For three days straight, I feel really awful. Then I feel fine again. It's weird."
"Maybe it's something you're eating? Maybe you've developed a gluten or yeast intolerance."
I shrug, "maybe. All I know is I wish it would stop. Danny's getting really worried, especially since I'm dizzy most of the time. He doesn't want me falling down the stairs the middle of the night, or in the shower."
"I can imagine..." she pauses before she asks, "so how goes married life?"
"Oh, Brie, it's fantastic!" I smile widely; Danny and I got married on September 23 last year. It was a beautiful fall wedding, and everyone was smiles for miles. "We still haven't found an apartment. We have our eyes set on one, but the land lady won't lease it yet. We're going to move in after I graduate. That is, if she'll let us."
"Only three more months, then. That's exciting, especially for Mary and Frank."
I laugh aloud, "especially! I don't think they appreciate being woken up by two recently married people experimenting with their sex life!"
"My parents would've kicked me out by now."
"My would've too. But not Danny's. They're like super heroes or something." We stop on the corner of the street, waiting for my ride. Now that I'm married, I don't share a room with Brie anymore. But we're still the best of friends. I sway a little, my brain getting cloud.
"Whoa!" Brie latches onto my arm, juggling her books. "Easy there, Titanic!" More seriously, she wonders, "are you okay?"
"No, I-" I want to sit down, I need to sit down. "I need to sit."
"Absolutely." Brie leads me to the benches outside of the hospital. Wednesdays are clinic days, and usually she and I grab a burger or something quick afterwards. This works out, because Danny usually works late on Wednesdays, so I wouldn't be seeing him anyway. But he's not working late this Wednesday, because he is suspended. He called out his boss in front of everyone, and got a week's suspension.
Brie rubs my shoulder, "who's coming to get you?"
"Danny."
"I know," I try to sit straight and look normal. "He won't like this." As I adjust myself, our old, beaten up car pulls in front of the bench.
The window rolls down and Danny's smiling at us. "Ladies." He leans over and pushes the door open for me.
"Hi, Danny!" Brie smiles and waves, standing up. She bends over, "see ya tomorrow, Linda?" I could tell it shouldn't have come out question-like.
"If all goes to plan." I figured saying if I don't get sick wouldn't go over well with my husband. I smile, "bye."
"Bye!" Brie waves as we drive back to our temporary home.
"If all goes to plan, huh?"
"What? Oh, um..." I sigh and dig in my bag for my thermos with ice cold water. "I was feeling dizzy and nauseous again today, but I'm okay."
"Have you made an appointment with your doctor yet?" Danny looks at me before taking the turn.
"No, but I'm fine! Really, I am!" Because the last thing I want is needles sticking in me.
"Lin-"
"I'm okay, Danny. I promise. Brie thinks it's something I eat. Like gluten or yeast."
I know he didn't like that answer. "Okay, but promise me something?" He grabs my hand as we drive along.
My heart starts pounding. "Yes?"
"If you get sick tonight, call the doc first thing in the morning."
I nod, "okay."
Danny smiles a little. He cocks his head towards me, "I don't like you being sick. You're miserable and tired, and I always feel so helpless cause I can't help."
I nod again, suddenly feeling guilty. "I promise I'll call if I get sick."
**************
I groan as I lean over the toilet that night. My head aches, my stomach aches, my muscles ache. I throw up Mary's lovely dinner of chicken tetrazzini and mashed potatoes, along with the vanilla ice cream I had for dessert. I heave again, and feel a hand on my shoulder, the other one holding my short hair away from my face. Once all my food is flushed down the toilet, I sit back on my knees and into Danny's embrace.
Despite the fact he could get sick, he kisses my cheek, still rubbing my shoulders. "Will you-"
"Call the doc tomorrow." I nod weakly, closing my eyes. He helps me try to stand, but I wobble. My knees give out, my head spins. He picks me up bridal style and carries me back to his (our temporary) old room. Danny lays me on the bed and pulls the covers around me. He kisses my cheek and bends to get my thermos off the ground. He looks inside and sees its empty. Kissing my forehead, he says, "I'll get you a refill."
Pathetically I answer, "thank you."
"Anything for you." He kissed my cheek again and walks out to retrieve my cold water.
*************
I sit in the doctor's office, studying the posters of the ear and of the nasal passages and sinuses. I remember those posters always fascinating and grossing me out at the same time when I was little. The human body truly is amazing.
A knock interrupts my thoughts. "Come in."
"Linda, what's the problem?"
"I've been feeling dizzy and nauseous for a while now. Since.... the middle of January. I classified it as a nasty stomach bug, but now it's almost Valentines Day, and I'm not so sure anymore. It's been going on for almost a month, so it can't be a bug."
"Any other feelings other than nausea and dizziness?"
"Yes. I'm feeling sleepy a lot of the time, despite getting my full eight hours." Yes, I'm one of those nuts. I really don't feel good if I get less than six, and even then it's iffy. "Uh... I keep having cramps, but every time I suspect my period's coming, it doesn't."
"Speaking of, when are you due?"
"Any day now." Ever since I stopped taking my hormone pills (which is birth control, but I refuse to call it that cause I'm not or wasn't preventing birth), my period went back to it's normal, inaccurate schedule. It used to sneak up on me, but then I would always cramp the night before, and that was my signal.
She writes it down, "I want to take a blood test, and a strep test."
Stupidly, I say, "but I don't have strep."
She chuckles, "right. But I'm going to use the same method."
I nod, feeling stupid. In less than ten minutes, the tests are done.
"I don't think this is anything serious, but we'll call you and let you know when the test results come in."
"Okay, thank you."
************
Days later, I go back to the doctor's office. Danny is now working again, and sometimes it's a double shift (cause his sergeant hates him), so I have to take public transportation which I hate.
The doctor, knowing that I'm a nurse, simply hands me the papers.
I look over them, very surprised at the results. "No." I state firmly, "no. I-I can't be- not- not now!" I start to ramble, "I- I haven't graduated yet! I have three more months, and- and we don't have the apartment set up, and we- we're not ready!" I ramble on and on, not thinking about what I'm saying. I feel the doctor's hands on my shoulders, and my eyes close. I breathe deeply, the tears still falling.
"Aren't you happy you're going to be parents?"
"Of course I'm happy!" I wipe the tears away with the tissues she just handed me. "I'm thrilled! But we're not ready! We're so young; I was thinkin' I'd be here in three years, when I'm fully done with school and have a steady job and an apartment!" After moments of silence, I sniff and look at the results again. "Wow, I'm gonna be a Mom!"
**************
"Ooh," I hear Danny as he surveys the kitchen table. I watch him from the kitchen, knowing his unaware of my presence. He runs his finger along the edge of the table, looking at the two candles, and food set neatly on the table. He turns and smiles at me. "And What is this for?" He kisses my cheek.
"Why, honey. Don't you know what day it is?"
"Uh..... Thursday?"
I hold my hand out for a second, and shrug. I should've suspected that answer. He doesn't pay attention to dates. "It's the Fourteenth. Of February. Valentine's Day."
"Oh, yeah. So, uh, this is my present?" He gestures to the table.
"The first half," I smile and kiss his lips seductively, leading him to believe I mean sex. I pull away, "so. Shall we eat?"
We sit and bless the food, and we talk about our days. He knows that my sickness is getting better, since I told him I just need to pop some vitamins and an anti-nausea pill. And having a husband who doesn't know anything in the medical field is a blessing in this time, since he doesn't bother reading bottles.
Halfway through the meal, the door bell rings. "I'll get it," Danny wipes his mouth and stands up. He comes back with a basket of roses, lilies, irises, and chrysanthemums.  He places it next to me on the table.
"Oh, Danny! They're beautiful!" I gasp when he lets go of the handle. Dangling from it is two sets of keys and a diamond ring. Surprisingly, I take one set of keys off the baste first. Turning it over in my hand, I question, "new car?"
"No, unfortunately. But it is to a nice little place with a small, very covered balcony."
I squeak, "we got the apartment?"
"We've got the apartment!"
I hug him excitedly, still holding the key. "Wait, what's the other key for?"
"That's my set."
"Oh, right. Duh." I very lightly hit the side of my head smiling. "What's this ring then?" I untie the lacy ribbon. The gold ring had an intricate rose detail with a very small diamond in the middle.
Danny shrugs, "for some reason, I thought it'd go nice with your silver flower ring. Y'know, the one you got at the retirement home thrift shop for two bucks?"
"Oh yeah!" I smile widely. Best purchase of a 200 plus dollar ring I had ever made. "Wow, that's super sweet of you! Hold up." I jump from my seat and run into our bedroom. Quickly I find the silver ring and run back downstairs, handing it and the gold one to Danny.
"Erin says you can stack 'em?"
"Yup! Gold one first." He slides the gold rose onto my right ring finger, then positions the silver one. After we kiss, he sits back down across from me. "So, what's the second part of my gift? Betcha can't top me."
It had been a good natured running game of ours about who got the other one the better gift. We always get gifts in the same price range, so (unless I'm on my period- or now, pregnant) there are no tears shed.
"Oh, I so can top that."
"Okay. Then what's my gift?"
I take my engagement ring off and hand it to him. "See the diamond?"
"Yeah. So?" The diamond is a two carat diamond, which is a little larger than a pea. "What about it?" He examines it, as if I hid something inside.
I sigh, collecting my emotions. "That's about the size of your yet to be born baby."
"My y.... my What?" Danny looks up, still holding the ring.
"Your yet to be born baby."
"You're..." he smiles widely, while chuckling. "You're pregnant?"
I grin ear to ear and nod, the happy tears coming fast.
"Oh, honey!" We both stand and hug each other tightly, happy tears slipping down our cheeks.
After a while, Danny slips my ring back on. "So- so the, the nausea and dizziness and feeling awful... that was just morning sickness?"
"We're stupid, aren't we? Especially me, a nurse. But we're gonna be parents!"
We kiss and hug and cry some more, so so so incredibly happy. Little did we know that would only last for five more months.