The One That Deserved To Be Saved {A Horse Novel}

My Life Now

"My Life Now":

I had fallen back to sleep after that episode, as I usually do. Waking up now on a Saturday morning though has never been more boring. Dark Knight and I used to go on trail rides on Saturdays - basically spend the whole day out there, I would carry lunch with me and everything.

I guess I should tell you who I am and what my life is like now, since losing the greatest friend I have ever had.

My parents and I live on a large ranch in Colorado. Our house is situated in the middle of our land. To the left of our houses we have two pastures, both two acres each. To the right we have the barn - it can hold up to 20 horses yet we only have two, two indoor sand arenas and one grass arena. Spread out along the property we have a hot walker, another barn - though smaller and separate wash bay and fully equipped tack room. Maybe ranch isn't the term I should use.

Sounds like a big boarding stable or some sort of riding school, right? Wrong. My mother is a well known fashion designer although she doesn't have to leave home, basically she designs the clothes and then sends the pictures and sketches to makers who create the clothes and they are auctioned off to different department stores. My father on the other hand, he loves horses but doesn't really have the time for them as he is too busy being the owner of a large - and very widespread - Chevy dealership. He has companies all over the US and therefore has to travel every other week to check up on them.

My parent's names are Jack and Karla Withers, and I am Claire Withers.
I am now 17 and currently graduating from High School. I haven't been on a horse in two years, all I focus on is work now and have been since the accident - I am a straight A student, my riding friends tried with me for a long time, whether it was coaxing me to come on a trail ride with them or just hang out in the field, I denied them and eventually they gave up on me. I don't blame them. As I became more focused on my schoolwork, my friends from school also started to get distant but I wasn't hated or anything. Basically I fell apart. My parents started to worry as a year after the accident my older brother Lucas went off to college and he was the only one I really talked to.

Remember how I said there were two horses in the barn? Yeah I despise them both. They belong to my brother - though he doesn't come home very often. When I see them in the pasture it makes me remember, and when I remember it starts to hurt. I don't trust myself around them either so my father hired people to look after them and ride them for my brother. I feel bad sometimes that he had to go out of his way to do that but I just can't bring myself to get on another horse after what I did to my own...

When I am not at school, I spend my days in my room. Whether I'm reading or watching movies or just staring at pictures of Dark Knight and I.

I don't think I will ever ride again, the nightmares that I have just reinforce the pain that I felt that day. The mistake that I can never fix. They told me it wasn't my fault. That it would have been impossible to know that the bone in his leg had formed a disease and that is why it gave out. The disease attacked his cells and it just brought him down. My parents sent me to numerous shrinks thinking I would open up to them so that they could make me better. I wouldn't, all I know is that I killed my own horse - my own best friend, and I can never take that back.