Dreams in the form of Words

The Beach: Moonlight

"Don't think I didn't hear you last night."

I was back in my bed, but it didn't feel any better than concrete. The day was too long, and I still needed to make it to one to go back to the beach.

"Shut up, Julian."

"You're real stupid, you know."

"Yeah? What's new."

"You could've gotten lost! Or kidnapped or-"

"Or what?!" I yell, whipping my head to look at him. He looks genuinely suprised that I'm speaking any louder than a grumble. "I could've died? Is that what you're so afraid of? Huh?!"

"Of course I'm afraid of you dying!" Julian tells back, getting right in my face. He has tears filling his crystal eyes. "It would be all my fault!"

"Oh shut up about it being anyone's fault! If it's anyone's fault, it's mine! So shut up about it already so you can go back to pretending I don't exist. It's easier that way anyway."

Julian pulls away, wiping the stray tears. I hit a nerve. But wasn't that the point?

"That's not how it was, Rose. Stop acting like no one loves you."

************************************

"You're cute, and this is your first time, so I'll give you this night for free. How's that sound?"

"Wow... you'd really give me enough for a trip?"

Garrett nodded. "You got it. Just don't say anything to Julian and this might not be the last time I hook you up."

I only have one more hour to wait. Hopefully it doesn't go by as slowly as the rest of the day did. I wanted nothing more than to see the moon again.

Maybe I could leave early and have some time to stare at the stars again. Yeah, that sounds good.

Julian looks asleep, but he could be faking it. I don't care, I just need to get out of this house. This isn't a vacation for me. It's only meant to watch me to make sure it never happens again.

"I don't think it's supposed to feel like this. I'm nervous. I feel like I'm starting to see things that aren't there."

"Don't worry, Little! This is how it goes! Just go to sleep and it'll be over in the morning."

This time I'm wearing a hoodie and running shorts. Wyatt still has my hair tie, so my hair fell around my shoulders. I opted to not wear shoes again.

There are some clouds here and there, but in places I can still see the universe from the shoreline. I walk forward until I feel water, and sit down on the damp sand. First the water barely reaches my feet, but then it slowly soaks my shorts. I lean back, resting my head in the sand. The water rushes around me, seeping into my clothes and through my wild hair. I close my eyes, wishing that the water would wash over me and drag me into its depths where I could be within the calm starlight forever.

But then what about the moon? As good as the stars feel, the moonlight is something amazing that I just can't explain.

"This is a weird place to lay."

I open my eyes, bracing myself for the beams of moonlight.

"I like it."

"You're soaked. Even your hair."

I sit up, ringing my hair of salt water. It falls in crisp strands.

"That's okay."

He holds out his hand. I stare blankly at him.

"Are you gonna take it?"

I sigh and grab it. He pulls me up easily. My clothes hang heavily on my body.

"You're so odd." He says, gazing at me like I was the moon. Or better yet, all the stars combined into one.

"I guess so."

Instead of going to where the bonfire was, we started walking along the ocean. My hand never left his hold.

"So, why were you laying in the water?"

"Cause, I like it. It's comforting, I think."

"You think?"

I huff, trying to organize my thoughts.

"It's either a really good thing, or a really bad thing."

"Hm," Is all he says. We walk in silence for a while, which is good enough for me. Just being near him was enough to feel the light.

"I died last month." I blurt.

I stop walking. I loosen my hold on Wyatt's hand, but he doesn't let me go.

"What do you mean?" He says, turning to look at me.

I breathe out.

What is this? What's happening to me? The voices, I- I- can't take it. They won't stop, my head is pounding, there's shadows everywhere, whispering things to me. I just need to make it stop.

And I know how.

"I died." I looked at Wyatt with the first flicker of emotions I'd felt for a while. But not the good ones. It felt like fear, and regret. "My brother's friend came over, Garrett, and then my brother left to get more cigarettes. Garrett offered me some drug and said it would be better, but, it didn't get better. It just got worse."

Wyatt cups my face in his hands like he did last night, but I'm too far gone to stop now.

"It was a bad trip. Garrett said that it was supposed to be like that, but I was scared and alone and I already had the stuff in the bathroom-" I choke on a sob. "I thought I knew how to stop it!" I sink down to the ground and am pulled into Wyatt.

My tears soak his shirt as I cry. Every breath feels like knives slashing my throat.

"My brother was the one who found me. I had locked myself in the bathroom for god knows how long." My lip quivers. "I woke up all alone in the hospital. No one was there. I remember the nurses giving me sleeping meds to knock me out because I was hysterical. God, I was so scared." My hands closed tighter around the clumps of hair in my fists.

"It ruined everything. My friends are scared of me, ny parents are disappointed in me, and Julian does nothing but act as my bodyguard. I feel so stupid for doing it. I was so selfish!"

I fall back into Wyatt's embrace. He runs his hand through my hair, while the other keeps me close to him. The waves slowly creep up to us, flowing around us and trying to put us away.

"You must think I'm so pathetic." I mumble.

I pull away and wipe at my face. Wyatt tilts my head to look at him.

"You're not pathetic, Rose." He smooths my hair back so he can clearly see my face. "I knew from the start that there was something bothering you. You were so quiet, I started to think that I was wrong. But when you fell asleep, I got to look at you, and I mean really look, and I learned so much in those few hours. You're such a beautiful girl, and I'm so sorry that that happened to someone as great as you." He wipes away a couple stray tears. "Flower," He whispers, so softly that I wonder if I made it up. "You're worth so much to me, I don't think you even know it."

I blink back at him, knowing what is coming; knowing that I want it to.

He leans forward, meeting my lips with his.

This feeling... It's almost as if the moon, and the stars, came to me, without ever having to leave the ground.

The moonlight feels so warm. I never want to leave.

************************************

ok ok before you say this is stupid, just a reminder that this was based off a dream I had

it's also a total metaphor about me and my stuff going on lol so if you can figure it out, good job !

but anyway hope you liked this one, I know I did