I ran away because I didn't think there was anyone.
I couldn't convince myself that they cared and now I will always be left just to wonder.
When I look back, I see someone with the same face as me sitting down on the grass as she watched other people run around with each other.
She picks at the grass and smiles as she taps her toes together rhythmically, humming a song in her head as she feels the sun kiss the top of her head.
All she can do is laugh, smile, and silently encourage them to keep playing along.
All she wanted to do was embrace the sun and everyone's laughs.
She just enjoyed the presence of others' smiles so much.
But eventually the sun went away and everyone went home to sleep.
She knew blue skies always come back at some point.
Because no matter what, the sun always shines again.
But at some point, despite waiting for so long, the only thing that she saw where she was sitting was an empty field and a monotone sky.
Where did everyone go?
She enjoyed basking within the comforts of herself, but she really did enjoy the warmth that had been exuded before.
When I look back, I realize now that everyone had moved on.
They looked for prettier fields where the sun shone brighter and where the flowers were prettier, the grass greener.
I suppose that meant that I should do the same.
But no matter how many steps I took away from my spot, I found myself coming back to see if anyone has come back too.
No one ever did, and stayed very long.
I say I ran away because I didn't there was anyone.
But I think I will always run back the same way I came because I still believe blue skies always come back at some point.
Maybe they will never be the same blue skies, but I can always remember.
I see the skies in my dreams sometimes.
At times, they are but haunting memories.
And other times, they comfort me by whispering words of hope to remind myself that blue skies like those do exist.
Sometimes, it feels like the moments I play behind my eyelids are only figments of my imagination to coax myself into believing that at some point, I was not alone.
This time though, I feel as though I really want to run away.
I want to wipe away the remains of the me who only knew how to wait, who, one of the only things they could pride themselves on, was their "patience".
I want to forget the hue of blue that had built a home in my heart and held onto me tight.
This time, I want to chase the sun wherever it goes and learn to be my own warmth.
