The Family Screw Up Finds Himself A Girl

Chapter Seven

Philip takes my hand and leads me up the driveway to the front door. Like I said before, I hate first meetings and family gatherings. So I am shaking a little, "Sam, are you ok babe?" I'm not going to lie to him, "I just hate first meetings that's all, especially family members of the men that I am seeing." He let's go of my hand, grabs my shoulders and starts walking me to the door. "You'll be great, my family loves all of my ex girlfriends, they just all hate me though." I can't tell if he is joking or not, but I appreciate his confidence. He puts the key in the door and goes in first. "Whose home?!" He shouts through the house. I look around, and I'm astounded by how huge this house is. My house only has five rooms, this place has double that and then some. "We are in the dining room," I hear a lady call out to him. Philip drops my overnight bag on the floor, "Mommy, she's here." Mommy? Oh my God, that sounds so cringe. If anyone else was to say that I would run for the hills, but it's this sexy whiskey seller so I guess I'll stick around.

We go into the dining room and I stand there in silence, there are six people around the table and they are all staring at me. "Everyone, this is Sam. My girlfriend." He wraps his massive arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. Girlfriend? I think to myself, we never discussed this. A pretty blonde lady gets up from her chair and bounces over to me, "Hi Sam! Welcome to the Altman home, get out while you still can!" She shakes my hand. She is very warm, and makes me laugh, I have a feeling we are going to get on with each other. "This is Annie. Annie, you used the same line on Tracey last year. Can you leave it out, you're cursing all of my relationships." Annie goes to sit back down, "You're the one who can't keep it in your trousers, brother-in-law. Like leaving Chelsea for Sam, that was nice of you." I abruptly turn to look at Philip, "What is she talking about?" I can feel myself burning up. "She is my ex-girlfriend, I broke up with her before I went to London and met you. Nothing to worry about." I look over at Annie and she's rolling her eyes. I don't know who to believe, Quinn did say that he is a player.

"Anyway, moving on let me introduce you to the rest of the family. Over here is Paul, my oldest brother, my sister Wendy and her husband Horry, and this is my mother and her girlfriend Linda." His mother is a lesbian, I think that's great. As long as two people make each other happy that's the main thing and they both look very happy together holding hands at the other end of the table. Everyone says hi to me and I feel very welcome. Philip and I sit down, and he asks, "Where's Judd?" The sound of his name makes my stomach turn itself into knots. "Who's Judd?" I ask all innocently. "He is my other brother, the one that doesn't think I'm the family screw up."

Paul bangs his hand on the table. It makes me jump. "Sorry Sam. Well, yes, Philip you are! Especially when you go to London and spend over $1,500 on a hotel room when you already had a budget hotel booked! We are scraping by as it is, we don't need you pretending that you are a millionaire just to impress a girl. I'm sorry, Sam." He looks over at me apologetically and gives me a small smile. "Don't mind me, Paul, it's all good," I say in response. Philip is not letting that one go, "Paul, not that it's any of your business, but what I do with my own money is my own worry not yours! I have been holding the fort for the past year whilst you have been off playing happy families." Bang on cue, I can hear the sound of a baby crying. Annie gets up, "I'd better go and see to him. It was lovely meeting you Sam, you're gorgeous." She is out of the door before I can respond to her. Paul is ready to tear into Philip, "What did you expect? We have been trying for years and finally we have a son. You don't have to be an arsehole about it, just because you don't or can't even consider getting married and settling down doesn't mean you have to criticise the ones in this house that do." I can see this escalating really quickly, Philip chimes in. "Oh yeah, how do you know what I want? You're too wrapped up in your own life, you never ask me what I want. Now that I have finally found someone who makes me genuinely happy you want to make me feel like I am the stupid little brother still?" His Mother Hilary gets up, "Boys, cool it now. Sam is our guest and we shouldn't be having these conversations whilst she is in this house. If this happens again, you'll all be participating in unofficial Shiva for the next week."

I hear groans across the table, "Mom, no way. Once was enough!" Wendy, Philip's sister, smiles at me and proceeds to explain what Shiva is. I hear the sound of the door opening, "Hi guys, we are home." Philip turns to look in the doorway, "Oh Judd is home, my favourite brother," he says whilst glaring at Paul. Judd, oh no. I'm going to have to see him, I hope he doesn't recognise me. We've never met, but he would have seen pictures from Quinn. He walks in with a baby girl in his arms, it's my niece Olivia. He places the baby in Philips arms and he happily obliges, she's his niece, our niece. She is so beautiful, I feel like crying. "Hi Sam, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Judd, Philip's brother." I get up to shake his hand, on closer inspection I can tell that he has recognised me. "Holy shit! Sam, you're Quinn's sister?!"