"let the countdown begin!"
those are the words that everyone wants to hear, ten seconds before their twenty second new year's.
but what happens if the souls that switch just aren't set for the stars?
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- wheesa
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in which the distance between them is infinity and expanding
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one; hwasa
hwasa watches wheein watch her. wheein squints as if she's suspicious, as if this is all part of some strange dream. hwasa begins to wonder if she's a mirage. her eyes begin to trace wheein's body as the silence stretches on into awkwardness. from wheein's dingy but charming air force ones that have the ticks coloured in to her baggy black stonewash jeans that cover her ankles but sit tightly around her hips and waist, to the red top that strains around her ribs and still manages to look effortless and clean. then her face, her eyes that sit like dark pools of sky on the vast planes of her smooth cheeks, the slope of her nose and the perfect indent that sits above her cupid's bow. but the silence goes on for too long, the fragile bridge that was made between them is too fragile and as wheein takes a step forward, hwasa has to look away. wheein retraces and retracts her foot, and her eyes cloud over with an emotion hwasa can't describe. the single moment that she allowed herself to imagine a world where there was only wheein and hwasa has ended and hwasa looks back down. she can hear her manager chatting with one of the security officers a couple of meters away, and the sound alone tears her from her dreamscape. hwasa is too focused to notice that wheein had spoken, only that her lips had moved for a partial second. everything feels like they are underwater, and the pressure is pushing them apart. "huh?" hwasa mumbles, a tone of apology.
"so, what now?" wheein asks, her eyes betraying her true question. what now, that they've met? are we going to be what we are meant to be? is destiny to be accepted? is the parallel universe where the only things that mattered were each other simply a frail dream without base? hwasa knows he answer in her stomach before she can think about it. they are under water, and the currents are pulling hwasa away faster than she can swim. she knows love is a losing game, but she doesn't want to know that right now. she speaks without thinking and immediately prepares for waves of regret to hit her and pull her further under, away from the light.
"i have tonight off." hwasa says. it's a lie.
it's a lie that can easily be converted into truth if hwasa maneuvers carefully. but she knows the implications of the statement in other contexts. it's a hotel room, a limo, a penthouse, important and rich people having 'fun' as only important and rich people can - white lines, expensive liquor, shits and giggles as sharp as broken glass and just as unpredictable. but for hwasa and for wheein it implies particles colliding. it illustrates galaxies and universes where the only things to explore are each other. it connotes beings made of light that carry the dreams of thousands of people in each fingertip tentatively touching each other for the first time. hwasa hopes that wheein has considered those implications.
"what if i don't?" wheein raises her eyebrow playfully, but hwasa can see that the pain in the question is genuine. "oh come on, what else do you have to do?" hwasa allows a small smile filled with fondness punctuate her words.
"that's the problem, hwasa."
hwasa's blood runs slightly colder. the water is pressing down on her again and she feels like she's asphyxiating slowly as she realizes. wheein realizes at the same time and hwasa can see her face light up with indignation.
"yeah. you know it too." wheein accuses. "you know that you treat me like a convenience. you allot your time to me as if i'm not another person with a life and friends and a means to pay bills and stay alive." she's gaining speed now - the information is sticking to her like snow to a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain. "doesn't it occur to you that this is the first time we've ever met in person?"
"i know it's unfortunate but-"
"unfortunate?" wheein is incredulous, but she manages to keep her physical composure. her eyes burn into hwasa, two black bowling balls that are on course for a strike. "i'm the one that made the effort here! that's always been me from day one! do you even want this? do you even want me ?" it occurs to hwasa that wheein is making a scene. she looks down and wheein looks like she has her answer.
hwasa doesn't want to hear wheein's final judgement.
"you're wasting my time."
wheein's voice cracks just slightly, as if she knows how much she doesn't want to say that. and hwasa knows that wheein just wants hwasa to apologize. but hwasa just looks away, not wanting to watch as, for a moment, the universe contains just two particles. two particles, and the distance between them is infinity and expanding.
a.n: hey guys dont kill me i know its been like a year but im back. i might do continuous udpdates might not but i felt like i owe u guys big time. this book has 3k reads (how tf) and i wanted to thank you for that with this chap. also i was reading a book and i was like damn this is good the author needs to update, and i was pre frustrated abt it so like i finally understood how u guys feel. sincere apologies my guys, ur massively supportive and ily al <3
