Dear Harry, The One Where I Write To You. ( harry styles) #wattys2015

Part 1

Here I was, sitting in the same hospital room That I had been in for the past 2 years.. Except this time it was for me and not someone else, this time it was me who was sick. 2 years ago my brother Dylan was diagnosed with cancer.. The most heart breaking thing any person could go through. He was in bed rest in hospital because we was told he wouldn't make it, that he wouldn't survive. But things changed.. He got better and was finally allowed home, he had been home for around 2 months but then he started to get ill again so mum and dad took him back to the hospital but it was too late, he had already died. I didn't know what to do with myself, he ment everything to me. He was the only person I could talk to about my feelings, he was the only person that listened to me it broke my heart when he died.. Mum and dad wanted to make sure everything was fine with me, I had blood tests and everything done. Everything was fine with me.. Would be abit weird if two of their kids had cancer wouldn't it? I had just turned 16, I wasn't feeling myself one minute I was hot and the next I was cold, so mum and dad took me to the doctors. And that's when I found out I had leukaemia right there and then. My mind went blank, I didn't know what to do. Mum and dad just burst into tears, another one of their kids had cancer. They blamed theirselves, they blamed everything on them "what if we done everything different? Why does God have to punish us?" Mum said crying her eyes out "mum, it's going to be fine. I will fight this! I will do everything I possibly can to fight this. I will fight and I will fight" I told her giving her the biggest hug ever. We had appointments set up straight away to start my chemo. Weeks and weeks went by and I never got any better. It had been 6 months I was told I had to stay in hospital so they could look over me 24/7.. I needed someone to care for me 24/7 and mum and dad couldn't do that, only the nurses could do that. They had placed me in a room but I told them I didn't want to be in there. I wanted to be in the room where Dylan was, the room he spent all his days.. The room where we laughed and cried. The room he took his last breath in there. I walked in the room Still seeing his delicate body laying in that bed hooked up to monitors, I used to lay in this bed with him watching films and talking about the future like we actually was going to have one. I remember the last thing he said to be before he died, it still sticks in my head like there's nothing else in there "if I die--" I cut him off "you're not going to die you are going the fight this" I told him in a fierce tone "if I die, I want you to know you are my world and I will be looking after you, I will be by your side no matter what" he said letting a tear drop, I cried "I love you" I told him giving him a big hug "I love you Leah, and if I die don't think you'll be playing on my ps4" he said laughing.. And then that was it, he was gone. He was in heaven.