36 - "I'm sorry for everything."

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"Cora?"

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"Cora?"

I can't go back to Teagan's. I'd lied to her face about being with dad tonight, and I'm not in the right mind-set to explain to her what has happened. She doesn't even know that I was with Rhys. Suspected, yes. But she doesn't know for certain. And I didn't want to look at her tonight, pity written in her expression. Pity that they all could have guessed something like this may have happened from the start.

So, instead, I'd found my feet moving toward Ryan's house. It's easier to avoid his questioning gaze when I tell him I just need to sleep. If he really loves me like he says he does, then he won't press me for answers, no matter how distraught I look.

"What's happened?" he says, his voice rising with worry. "Did— did you find something out about..."

"No," I croak, shaking my head. "No, it's not about mum. Well, it is, but—"

Before I can finish, my lower lip trembles and Ryan throws the door the rest of the way open, embracing me. My shoulders shake violently as I let him hold me up, gently rubbing my back.

"Ceeks, talk to me. What happened?" he whispers into my hair. "I've never— I've never seen you like this. It's scaring me."

I can't answer, because my heart is weighing me down. I wish I could live without it beating in my chest. I wish my ribs could crush me and end all this pain. I hate feeling. I hate that I'd let Rhys Laderman make me feel at all.

Even when I had told him I hated him, a part of me had still regretted the words. Because I know, deep down, that he can do close to anything and I'll still love him.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I whimper, my voice muffled as I lay my head against his chest.

"Of course," he says instantly, "of course."

I thank him, before stepping away and wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry to turn up so late. I just— I didn't want to go anywhere else."

"Did you fight with Tea? Your dad?"

I shake my head, my eyes glazed over as I stare at the ground. "No. I just— I don't really wanna talk about it right now. Not tonight. Is that okay?"

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