Relative Strangers (Book 2) No Man Is An Island

7. Love

The second E was alone in her room, she had to take several deep breaths to stop herself from crying, for Elizabeth Cutter didn't cry.
In her world, crying got you killed.
She had been too afraid to admit the truth to Matt, because she hadn't wanted to say it out loud, as that made it real.
E cared a lot for Matt, and she didn't want any harm to come to him. She cared about the rest of the team too, but Matt the most.
Matt had been the first person to stick his neck out for her, even risking his job and relationship for her.
E knew that she could always turn to him in times of need, and she hated herself for allowing thoughts like that into her head.

Her mother had taught her, never to rely on anyone else.
Relying on other people made you sloppy, and when you lived your life on a knifes edge, you couldn't afford to be sloppy.
Helen had never really had her back, so E had been forced to look out for herself from an early age.
Trusting and relying on other people didn't come naturally to her.
She was supposed to be good enough that she didn't need help from anyone. And she didn't want to become someone who needed help from her friends to solve her own problems.

The closest E had come to feeling like that, was with her boyfriend Sam.
She had loved him with all her heart, but even then, she never trusted him to have her back.
E felt it was her responsibility to protect them both. And she had failed, resulting in Sam's death.
Losing Sam had been one of the most painful things she had ever experienced.
Since then, she had been too afraid to get close to anyone again, as she didn't want to feel that pain again.
Matt's future at the ARC was uncertain, and E didn't want to get close to him, in case he was killed by a creature.
Working for the ARC was a big risk, as a lot of people had died, working for it.

E felt that the best way to live, was to go through life without any attachments. Life was safer that way.
But she couldn't deny the way she felt about Matt.
He was like the father figure she had always wanted.
Helen would always put her own life before E's. But E knew that if it came to it, Matt would risk his own life to save her.
She was also willing to risk her own life, to save his, which is something she would only do for a few people.
Matt had wormed his way into her heart, and she hated him for it.

****
Dinner that night was an awkward one, as no one seemed to know quite what to say.
"Takeaway pizza. I can see that nothing has really changed" E said quietly, as she picked up another slice from the box in the middle of the table.
"Well, I know it's one of your favourites" replied Matt.
"That's true. Pizza is dependable and safe. It is never going to try and eat you back, and it won't poison you, unless the cook didn't wash his hands properly" admitted E, trying to lighten the mood.
"I don't suppose you've had many takeaways recently"
"No. I've been hopping through anomalies to hunt for my food. I haven't had pizza since I was here with you".

Matt nodded his head, and silence resumed once more.
After several more uncomfortable minutes, Matt spoke.
"Me and Emily have been talking" he revealed.
E swallowed her bite, and looked at him nervously, "What about?".
"About how I've been behaving towards you, since you returned" answered Matt.
"I see"
"It was wrong of me to get so angry at you for leaving. You did say when you joined the ARC, that you might have to leave without warning. You told me that as soon as you joined the team, so I shouldn't have expected you to stay here with me forever. You have a life outside of me and the ARC, so I need to accept that".

"So you're not going to shout at me for leaving anymore?" Questioned E.
"No, I'm not. You're back now, and I should just enjoy the time I have with you, and not be angry at the time you spent away from me" replied Matt.
"Well, I'm glad that we can put this unfortunate business behind us"
"So am I"
"I didn't mean to leave and make you worry. So I promise that next time I will try and write a better note, and stay in contact with you while I'm away. I didn't do that this time, because I didn't want you anxiously awaiting each letter or phone call. But now I see that I was wrong to keep you in the dark. I will try better in the future to stay in touch"
"You don't have to. You don't owe us anything remember"
"I know, but I want to".

"Did you mean what you said earlier about accompanying me on trips in the future?" Continued E.
"I did. But I thought you were against the idea" admitted Matt.
"I was, but I've been thinking that maybe it's not such a terrible idea. There are some places I have to go, where company would be nice, provided you didn't get in my way or try and stop me from doing anything" replied E.
"I would do my very best not to"
"Good. You would also have to be very brave, because some of the places I go aren't exactly very safe".
Matt smiled, "I'm sure if you can manage it, so can I".

"Lester isn't going to like this idea" admitted Emily.
"Who says he has to find out?" Grinned Matt.
"Keeping secrets from him never seems to work for very long, as he always has a way of finding things out" reminded Emily.
"Well, even if he does find out, this isn't ARC business, so he can stick his nose somewhere else" replied E.
"You're not planning any trips right now are you?" Asked Matt.
"No, I need to deal with this problem on my island first, before I plan anything else" answered E.
"Good".

"But, you know that sometimes I recieve a summons out of the blue. And I can't always predict when I will get one" admitted E.
"Well, I will be by your side when you do get one" replied Matt.
"Thank you Matt. I don't know why you are always so kind to me, but I'm grateful"
"Sometimes we can't explain how we feel or why we do things. And I know you didn't ask for me to care about you the way that I do, but there's no turning back now"
"No, I guess there's not".