Dear Ajay,
Tears - they have remained my faithful companion for too long. When I'm angry, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, every time tears fell down. They comforted me with their little arms and I was comforted by that constant dripping water.
The day we first met also started with tears for me. The depression had taken its toll and I cried a lot. Walking out of the class, walking through the streets, in my room, while taking a bath... the tears were non-stop. They comforted me like always...
The past, the present, everything was choking me.
I thought it was another day like that but who knows what fate has in store...
I cried myself to sleep and then I woke up crying. I had to stop myself. I need to save myself from this pain. So I decided to call my friends. At that moment I was desperate... and I made the call...
Sometimes life plays pranks with you. When you really need someone, it takes away hope and makes you desperate.
I was never good at asking for help anyway. I always acted like I got this.
I found a lonely corner and sat there staring at my stupid phone. I had already started drifting. Help was nowhere near. I don't remember how long I stayed there. All I know is I stayed there long enough for you to notice me, for you were the only person sitting there beside me. You overdosing on Wi-Fi on your tablet, with those Philips headphones and nerdy glasses. I have a confession to make. Every time you thought I was looking at you, I was looking at that wonder woman wallpaper on your tablet. I must admit she looked hot. 😋
Out of nowhere, you spoke to me. "Hey, the screen of your phone is broken!"
"I have a balance issue. So every time I fall down, my phone does too."
Whoa... what the.. why would I share my personal info with him. I've never done that. I was astonished at myself.
"Well, the screen of your tab is also broken."
"The tablet is a bit bigger for my hand. So I drop it often. "
I laughed at your retort. Whoa... I'm easy, aren't I? Already giggling at your opinions. But I was depressed. How did you make me laugh by saying something that is not even funny??
"Do you like Harry Potter? " my eyes must have been blinking. I was confused were you real. So I decided to go with you are not real and decided to take it all the way. I was kind of convinced that you are my Clarence. How else would you know to ask "Do you like Harry Potter? " as your second question.
Wait... that is not a pickup line. Is it? Well, what can I say, you had me there.
Then we shared our love for Harry Potter, Lord of the rings, MCU...
We talked about our best friends... we talked about how we used to be wallflowers and how those extroverts aka our best friends changed us. But without them, we are still somewhat introverts.
Then we walked around the campus. I seem to say yes to whatever you wanted me to do. I am really easy, wasn't I? But you were like a source of happiness for me. I had no choice. I wanted to stay next to you and stay happy for a little while longer. We went to your hostel.. paid your fee.. we discussed how you love traveling.. we walked again. Instead of going off yourself to meet your friends, you invited me to tag along.. and I tagged along with my source of happiness. We met your friends... I walked with you until you departed to the library. I stayed there a bit longer waiting to store that lingering happiness.
Parting with you was hard. Not parting with you was stupid. Well, I had always believed in making smart choices, no matter how hard it may be. So I walked my way ... And you did yours... for some reason you reminded me of a miracle that I might never see again. You were a shooting star I wished upon and you brought that little ray of happiness into my depressed days.
Love,
Jaan.
