The Rhythm Of Our Broken Hearts

Chapter Seven: I Think I'm Losing, I Think I'm Lost

Chapter Seven: I Think I'm Losing, I Think I'm Lost

Andy bounced his leg up and down nervously, having already picked off the black paint from his nails. D.R.U.G.S was on stage currently, the screaming and guitars echoing through the venue to the green room. They had about twenty more minutes before it was their turn as the final band of the night. The singer could hardly think about the show, not even confident he knew the name of the city they were in.

John knew, and not only did he know but he was making fucking bets with Matt's manager. How long before the bands found out, then the fans, then everyone else? Why did he even care so much? It felt like things were happening so fast, even though all that had happened was a kiss outside the venue. Were they dating, was that what Matt wanted? Or were they just friends with benefits now? What if they were dating and things didn't end well, that would mean he'd lose his one and only best friend. The thoughts kept swirling around in his head, pushing him closer and closer to the edge of insanity.

"Stop tapping your foot!" Ashley suddenly blurted out, glaring at the younger man.

Andy jumped at the outburst; he didn't even realize it was making any noise. He shot a glare back at the bassist before grabbing the open bottle of whiskey from the table and downing a little over a shot's worth.

"You okay Andy? You haven't suddenly developed stage fright or something have you?" Jake asked, noticing the singer's nervousness.

"No... just don't like waiting to go on." He switched from tapping his foot to biting at his lip ring.

Andy's anxiety was starting to reach a fever pitch inside his chest, his brain wouldn't stop going over worst-case scenarios. He didn't trust himself not to fuck things up, that's all he seemed to be able to do. Anytime something good came into his life he found a way to sabotage it. Plus, this was all new to him. He barely knew how to be with a woman, let alone another guy. After years of being called names, of having people assume things about him because of his feminine looks, what would they say now?

The singer pulled out his pack of cigarettes, lighting one up despite the 'no smoking' signs clearly posted throughout the venue. The nicotine did little to calm his nerves, it was more so just something to do. Jake and Jinxx were too busy tuning their guitars to notice, not that all of them weren't desensitized to the smell of booze and cigarettes by now.

"You do realize that smoking is the most unattractive thing, right?" Ashley sneered, clearly on a roll to annoy the younger man.

"Funny, explain to me why I'm the frontman and not you then?" Andy shot back.

Ash opened his mouth to say something else, but CC elbowed him in the ribs before he could. Andy didn't need anyone to test him tonight, not his own bandmates or anyone in the crowd who was feeling equally as bold.

He heard the crowd give a final cheer as Craig said goodnight, the house music switching on to signal intermission. Andy stood up, downing the remaining whiskey in one drink before slamming the bottle back onto the table. He should feel that by the end of the first song.

Andy could hear the voices of Matt and his bandmates approaching as they made their way backstage. His heart skipped a beat as he listened, hearing Matt laughing and joking around. Like nothing had happened earlier, like the very ground he was standing on was threatening to cave in and swallow him whole. He seemed happy, content, at peace.

The singer brushed past Matt as he and the band made the move to line up by the curtains. The guitarist stopped in his tracks, telling the others to go on before turning and heading back towards the stage to catch up with Andy.