Journey to the Center of the Heart (a novella)

Chapter 6 - "Farewell, Juliet"

An old Steve Martin comedy played on the TV screen. Both Casey and Grady had clung to the older movies, finding less genuine humor in the newer comedies and comedians.

Casey sat tensely next to Grady, just a few inches of sofa preventing their thighs from rubbing against one another. Yet every movement by Grady caused their arms to brush together, and Grady’s skin was like fire. Searing.

“They’ll never have this quality of comedy again,” Grady noted and tipped a third bottle of beer to his lips. “Steve Martin. Chevy Chase. John Candy. Robin Williams.” He shook his head. “They’ll never top them. Their movies are classics. I hate this modern shit they try to pass off as humor.”

Grady recited this micro-speech every time they watched a comedy, but Casey didn’t mind and agreed with him wholeheartedly. But tonight it had a slightly less “genuine” feel –as if Grady were saying it because Casey would expect him to say it. And why wasn’t he talking about his cyber-date? That morning, he couldn’t stop talking about it. Did he think “Juliet” bailed on him and he felt a little humiliated after making such a big deal of her having a genuine interest in him?

Did Grady find it odd that Casey wasn’t asking about the date?

“So…” Grady downed another swallow of beer then rested the bottle between his open legs, twisting it back and forth on the sofa cushion. “You feeling any better?” Grady stared down at the beer bottle, eyes slightly blank, distant, as if his thoughts weren’t really right there.

Casey shifted and cleared his throat. “Yeah…I guess. A little bit.”

“Good,” Grady murmured absently. His light mood from just moments ago had faded quickly. Maybe had come over not just for Casey, but for himself as well. After the disappearance of his “date”, it was likely he didn’t want to sit home alone and think about it all night. Did he want to talk about it? Casey didn’t, it was his fault Grady was in this mess –the least he could do was listen.

Shifting again, Casey tensed a fraction more when he brushed against Grady’s body. His eyes dropped to his cell phone still gripping in his hands, his thumbs rubbing anxiously across the slick, dark display. “How…” he swallowed nervously. “How was your date?”

Grady sniffed, took another drink of beer then scooted forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at the TV without really watching it. “It started out good,” he murmured. “Was getting better, then…” The beer bottle swung absently between his knees, gripped in his fingertips. “Then she disappeared on me.”

“Disappeared?” Casey whispered. The disappointment in Grady’s voice punch him in the gut.

“Yeah,” Grady chuffed and chugged the rest of his beer but continued to hold onto the bottle as it rocked like a pendulum in his fingers. “I think I finally get why people prefer the whole online meet-greet-and date thing.” A tinge of bitterness pinched his words and simultaneously wrenched Casey’s heart. “If you decide you want out of the date, you don’t have to make an excuse to get up and walk away. You just clicko-mondo…and you’re out. No mess, no fuss.”

Casey released a slow breath. “Is that what you think happened? That she didn’t like how the date was going and just…bumped you?”

Grady shrugged. “Who the fuck knows. Maybe it was all just an illusion and I just invented this connection I thought we had…because I wanted it.” He gave a short, sour laugh. “I guess if you want something bad enough, you find a way to get it, even if it isn’t real.”

The hole that had begun to form in the center of Casey’s heart the moment he started this deceit –now spread outward and threatened to swallow him up. He’d told himself it had started as a prank and nothing more…but was that true? Or had he done it because he longed to know how it felt to be Grady’s object of desire? If he just told him the truth right now –would it make matters better, or worse? Would Grady feel even more humiliated and used? And by his best friend, no less?