To The Stray Dogs [Bungou Stray Dogs Fanfic] [Author's Edition]

Chapter 3

"I... I... I'm so sorry!" Tanizaki apologized with his head down. "Huh?" Atsushi was confused. We were sitting in a cafe near the agency having our break from the exam. "Though it was for your exam, I was so rude to you. My name is Tanizaki Junichirou," he introduced himself. "I work as an assistant of sorts at the agency."

"Please, it's all right," said Atsushi. "And this is-" "His little sister, Naomi." Tanizaki's sister cut him off as she hugged him. "Y-You're siblings?" Atsushi asked. "Don't they look like it?" I asked. "I'm not sure I see a family resemblance," he said. "Oh? You doubt us? Of course we're siblings by blood. We're quite similar, especially this part." Naomi said as she began to touch her brother.

"Right, brother?" she asked as she got a bit too close to him. "Oh, but..." said Atsushi as I casually shielded his eyes. "Don't pursue this line of inquiry with them too far." Kunikida told him. "Er, okay..." said Atsushi. "In any event, brat, today you have joined the ranks of our Armed Detective Agency." said Kunikida before yelling at the siblings, "Do not be a burden to anyone," and then returning to his regular tone, "Nor shame the Agency's good name."

"The rest of us are committed to that, at least. Right, Dazai, Vivi?" Kunikida asked us. "Absolutely," I answered but Dazai was busy flirting with the waitress. "Would you strangle me with these fragile, delicate fingers?" he asked and Kunikida stormed over and smacked him across the back of his head.

"Are you going to smear mud on the Agency's name right as I'm saying we never would?! You bastard! Don't bother asking for her help all the time! I'll crush your neck with my own bony fingers!" he exclaimed and began to strangle Dazai again. "It's so hard to believe that he's older than you, Kunikida-kun," I said. "That's even worse!" he said.

"By the way, what were you three doing before you joined the Agency?" asked Atsushi and we looked at him. "Uh, no real meaning behind that question, by the way," he said. "Take a guess," I said as the two calmed down. "Huh?" "Oh, it's a game we play often. The rookie tries to guess his senior colleagues' former occupations. Well, it's part of their training as private investigators." said Dazai.

Atsushi turned to Tanizaki and Naomi and guessed, "Tanizaki-san and Naomi-san... were students?" "Oh, bingo. I'm impressed," said Tanizaki. "How did you know?" asked Naomi. "I heard you are a part-time worker, and I thought you might still be a student given your uniform. Tanizaki-san seems close to me in age, so... just a hunch," explained Atsushi.

"Honesty is a virtue. What about Kunikida-kun?" asked Dazai and Kunikida spat out his coffee. "Who cares about what I used to be?!" he asked. "Public worker? An official?!" Atsushi guessed. "Close. He was a teacher. A math teacher." I said. "Huh... I can totally see that," said Atsushi. "It's all in the past! I don't even want to think about it," said Kunikida.

"How about Vivi-chan?" asked Dazai. I was sitting beside Atsushi while he guessed, "A business worker? Maybe a store manager?" "No, I was a university student," I said. "Ah, I see," he said. "What about me, then?" asked Dazai. "You, Dazai-san?" Atsushi asked. "Yes, me," he said and smiled. "Well... Dazai-san was... Dazai-san was... " Atsushi muttered but couldn't think of anything.

"Don't bother, brat. His former profession is one of the seven mysteries of the Armed Detective Agency," said Kunikida. "The first person to get it right receives a reward, right?" said Tanizaki. "That's right. No one's been able to guess right, so the reward's just ballooned," said Dazai. "B-By the way, how much has this reward ballooned to, exactly?" asked Atsushi.

"How much was it again, Vivi-chan?" Dazai asked me. "700,000 yen total," I answered. "Seven hundred grand?!" Atsushi cried and ran up to Dazai. "S-So if I get it right, I can claim it? For real for reals?!" he asked. Dazai smiled and held his left thumb and pointer finger underneath his chin. "A suicide proponent is true to his word," he said.