To The Stray Dogs [Bungou Stray Dogs Fanfic] [Author's Edition]

Chapter 5

I went back to the office to help clean up after the raid since I couldn't find Dazai anywhere. "Hey, hey, Harunocchi," said Rampo. "Can you take the marble out of this bottle?" He handed it to her. "Sure, right away," she said and took it. "A marble?" Atsushi muttered. A few minutes later, she came back with the marble. "Is this what you wanted, Rampo-san?" she asked.

"Yes. Marbles are nice, aren't they?" he said as he took it."Yes, marbles are nice." she agreed. Atsushi moved over to Kunikida and me and asked, "Um, isn't Rampo-san going to help?" "Kunikida-kun," said Rampo, and Atsushi nearly dropped the books he was holding. "I have to head off to a job soon." "Oh, to assist with a murder case?" asked Kunikida.

"Indeed, the police in this city can't capture even a single criminal without my help. Still... My Ultra-Deduction is the best ability in this agency... or even the entire nation. I guess it's no small wonder that everyone depends on it." said Rampo. "We're indebted to you, Rampo-san," I said. "Good, as long as you're aware," he said. "That's right. Though you call yourselves a detective agency, you don't have the deductive powers of a single monkey. The only reason they can call themselves a detective agency and function as one is my ability, Ultra-Deduction."

"I can't believe we're getting shaded by him." I thought. "Ultra-Deduction is so amazing... An ability that lets you see right to the heart of any case in an instant," said Haruno. "You are a role model for the Agency... No, for all gifted people," said Kunikida. "Of course," said Rampo. "Brat." Kunikida called. "Y-Yes?" Atsushi stammered.

"Never mind the clean-up here. Go with Rampo-san. The place's close by train. Vivi, go and keep an eye on them." Kunikida told us. "Alright," I said. "M-Me as a detective's assistant?" Atsushi asked. "That's a great responsibility..." "Of course not. I'm not some two-bit detective. I don't need an assistant." said Rampo. "Then why am I going with you?" Atsushi asked him.

"Well, see, I don't know how to take the train," said Rampo.

**********

"You're late, agents." an inspector told us when we arrived at the crime scene. "Oh, who are you?" Rampo asked. "Where is Yasui-san?" The Inspector showed us his badge. "I'm Minoura. I took this over from Yasui. This case has been reassigned to our division. So we no longer need you or your agency." he said.

"How idiotic. All the difficult cases in the world should be overseen by a great detective as a matter of course," said Rampo. "We don't need a private investigator today. Because the victim is my subordinate,," said Minoura. A police officer removed the covers to reveal the corpse of a woman. Rampo took off his hat and said, "A lady."

"She was found floating in the river this morning." said a sergeant. "She was shot three times in the chest. We don't know where or when she was killed. We haven't even found the bullets." said Minoura. "Any suspects?" asked Rampo. "No. As far as anyone at the office knew, she was not in a relationship, either." "Does that mean you don't have any leads?" Rampo put his hat back on.

"That is all the more reason why we can't let some amateur private eye handle this," said Minoura as he stood up. "Hey! The nets caught something!" the police said. "What's that?" asked Atsushi. "We've strung a net across the river to catch any evidence, but..." the officer said. "It's a man! We have man in the nets!" I heard the police say. "What?!" Minoura said.

"Could there be a second victim?" asked Atsushi. As the nets were pulled up, we all walked over to see Dazai hanging upside down from it. "There you are..." I growled. "Hello, Atsushi-kun, Vivi-chan. What a strange coincidence," he said. "A-Another drowning attempt?" asked Atsushi. "What, committing suicide alone? That's so passe, Atsushi-kun. I have come to realize that if I am to die, I will die with a beautiful lady!" said Dazai and blushed. "Ah, a double suicide... What a sweet ring it has. In comparison, it feels so empty to bid this world farewell all by my lonesome. So... I'm currently on the lookout for a beautiful woman who'll die with me!"