Yudhisthira - The Unspoken Agony

Usual Day in the Vana

Kunti POV

I was working in the Kitchen, when I saw all the five children returning back to the Shibir (House or Shelter). Yudhisthira carried Nakula on his back, while Bheem carried Sahadeva. I felt so happy seeing them together. Seeing my children bond with Madri's as they were there own blood makes me so relieved. I hope they never experience rivalry among themselves. I hope they gel well with Jyesht Bhrata and Bhabhishree Gandhari's 100 sons. I know bhabhishree would have instilled their sons with values like herself and Jyesth, pure and powerful.

"Sons, you are back. What would you like for dinner tonight?"

"Whatever is comfortable, Mata." Arjuna said handing me the casket I sent the laddoos in.

"No no Mata. This Arjuna has no sense. You are asking with so much love. Make Halwa and Puri please...." Bheem cut in between.

"Yes, yes of course my child." I laughed. And so did my other sons.

All of them are very close to my heart. Sahadeva, because he is the youngest. Always calm and smiling. Nakula is more of the mischievous kinds, pestering me to give him leftover tomato peels, or gram flour for him to use on his face. I wonder why such a small kid worries more about a scar on his skin more than Bheem worries about what food I will make the next day! Madri's son afterall.

My eyes fell suddenly on Yudhisthira, sometimes I wondered how life must be for him All me, Aarya and Madri have been younger siblings. We have never had to think of responsibilities since childhood. My son is still in his teens, but never once have I found him complaining about anything or anyone. He has always been satisfied with whatever he gets, always willing to sacrifice for his brothers. Aarya must have had a vision for how a king should be, that is the reason he prompted me to call upon Dharmaraj.

I think he saw me looking at him, he faintly smiled. My son was pure, I have never seen any malignancy in his intentions. That reflected from his eyes. Never a speck of anger.

I felt guilty, I was robbing this little child of a carefree life. A life he could spend under the shelter of an elder brother, but never right now. I was robbing that child of a childhood, moreover I robbed my eldest of a respectable life, a throne, five loving brothers, parental love, a family. There was nothing I could do now. I hate myself for being a ignorant mother, a bad queen, an irresponsible daughter and an unfaithful wife.

Tears were about to cloud my eyes, the other children had left but Yudhisthira was still there, waiting to tell something to me. He saw my disappointment and came to me.

"What happened Mata? Why are you sad?"

"No Putra, I am not sad. It's just some dust. Its fine now."

"As you say Mother. We are with you mother, always. We can not bear tears in your eyes, it feels like we are going to nark alive."

"This little child of mine has wisdom of entire Aryavrat!" I said trying to laugh.

"Mother, I stayed to inform you that we are going with Pitashree for the class, we will be late for dinner. You and Mata Madri need not wait for us."

"Okay Yudhisthira, you should go now."

I sighed. Maybe, this is fate.

Yudhisthira POV

Today I saw tears in my Mata's eyes. I know she was staring at me and thinking about something that had to do with me. It broke my heart when I thought those tears must be because of something I have done. Shastra's say that Mata is even above God himself. I hope someday I find out the reason for her tears, and punish myself if I am their reason, or whosoever that is.

I went to the class. Pitashree started teaching us about weapons and what weapons are best suited for us. He recommended weapons that best suited our body built and thinking capacity. He gave me a spear and a bow and arrow and asked me to choose.

"Putra, Choose your weapon like your life depends on it. And then protect your Dharma with your choice."

"Father, I will chose this spear. I do not wish to fight my opponents in a situation where they have less effective weapons. I will therefore master this spear, and fight after giving my opponents due chance. Moreover, Arjuna has good archery skills, he can prove to be a greater warrior using the weapon. And together we will become invincible. "

Saying that, father respected my choice and began teaching me basic techniques of holding a spear. While the young ones watched in awe, Arjuna asked.

"Father, if we throw this spear with full might, how far can it reach?"

"Priya Putra Arjuna, the longevity of the range of any weapon is not the weapon itself, but the willpower of the bearer. If you wish, you can slay 10000 men with this spear in one blow alone, but if you don't you might not even be able to touch something one step away."

Pitashree said, as he winked to me. I saw my younger siblings watching him in awe. Little Sahadeva holding on to his new axe, while Nakula trying to look at his reflection in the sword. Arjuna, was trying to tighten the bowstring, while Bheem was curling his biceps with this new mace. I knew I had to be strong, for them.