"Mom, take your medicine on time. I love you so much, aalis na po ako." I sighed when I don't hear anything from her. I felt Narani's hand in my shoulder, trying to comfort me. However, that doesn't make sense. I stood up and kissed her forehead-- still no response.
"Bye, Mom!" Hindi ko magawang lumingon sa kanya sapagkat anumang oras I can feel that my tears might fall anytime.
"Farewell, My Dear Luna. Farewell." I stiff as a rod of iron because of her ominous tone.
I should be happy because of her unusual response but, fear throbbed inside me when I heard that name.
"Lucy! Mom I am Lucy not Luna" I'm still standing at the threshold habang hinihintay na muli siyang magsalita. Animo'y bingi siya na walang narinig mula sa akin.
I'm still watching and observing her actions. Whilst doing it, vague images flickered on my mind. Malabo man pero nababalutan ang lugar na iyon ng puro dugo.
What the hell is that? I closed my eyes and lowered my head, I need to get out that in my system. Baka masyado lang akong nag-aalala kay Mom at kung anu-ano na pumapasok sa utak ko.
When I finally break my fear, I convinced myself na walang ibang pakahulugan ang sinabi ni Mom at ang nakita ko kanina'Its normal Lucy, she's suffering on Dementia. You must understand her, because you are her daughter at the same time a psychiatric nurse'
Habang nasa kalagitnaan ako ng byahe papunta sa A.R Gustav Medical Center hindi ko pa rin mawaglit sa isipan ko si Mom.
Halos magdadalawang taon nang magsimula siyang umakto ng kakaiba. Madalas siyang gising tuwing gabi, nagsasalita gamit ang kakaibang lenggwahe at tatawa ng ubod ng lakas sa harap ng salamin.
Kabaligtaran naman nito kapag sasapit na ang umaga, she always do embroidery and manipulating puppets. Kapag sinubukan siyang pagbawalan siguradong magagalit siya o di naman kaya'y iiyak na parang bata na naagawan ng kendi.
Narani always told me na tuwing martes hindi niya mahanap si mom kapag sasapit na ang ala-sais ng gabi, pero alam ko na nagkukulong lang ito sa loob ng kwarto niya. Kung ano ang ginagawa niya sa mga oras na iyan, ay wala akong kaalam-alam.
Hanggang sa makababa ako sa Miranda Avenue. Samu't saring tanong ang lumulutang sa aking isipan, I thought my profession will only stay in work at the hospital pero hanggang sa pag-uwi ko may pasyente akong inaalagaan.
I attempted to admit her to a mental institution. But she always got mad and escape to the hospital and go back to our house. On the contrary, she habitually mumbled out of nowheresville the phrase 'I'll find and kill you.' that cause me to be bothered about her mental health. Just to avoid her escape-plan, I decided to get a personal nurse who'll take care of her when I am at work.
It's been 3 months nang simula akong magtrabaho sa ARGMC as a psychiatric nurse. Nung na sobrang hirap, dahil kung kailangan nang malalim at mahabang pasensya sa normal ward. Mas matindi dito dahil may mga panahon na hindi maiiwasan manakit ng mga pasyente.
Bago pa man ako magpatuloy sa paglalakad, hindi ko maiwasan na tingnan ang bawat building ng hospital.
Subalit, ang kumuha sa aking atensyon ay ang estatwa sa tabi ng entrance nito. The statue doesn't look like a figure of a particular person in medical areas like Hippocrates, Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung or Aaron Beck, etc.
Hindi rin naman kahawig ito ng taong namamahala or may-ari ng hospital. When I walk closer to the statue, Their is no name on its plaque, Disappointment and curiousty take over me and that makes me to question myself for a second.
