A Third Boy

Chapter Fifteen

Charlie

This afternoon has been crazy. I just found out that I will be a dad again to another boy, Hannah and I have just had sex again and now she's running back to Adam Sackler. In hindsight, I've realised that bringing up her moving out triggered an outburst within her, but I wanted to know how she felt about me and I fucked that one up. I just wish that I was good enough for her, over these past few weeks seeing her with the boys and how good she is with them warms my heart. A few days ago we took Henry and Grover to Central Park, Henry was telling Hannah a whole story on how much he wanted this Captain America toy that all of his friends have, I made it clear to him that he has enough toys and that he should wait for his birthday. The next day Hannah came back from a walk and gave Henry a present - Captain America. She hardly has any money herself, yet she went out of her way to make my boy happy and I sure had a happy boy for the rest of the evening. Her laughter fills the apartment with so much happiness, added to the fact that she is going to be the mother of my child, I know that I am developing feelings for her. I found out through some other cast members that Adam and Hannah have a history together; they were in a long-term relationship and it ended with Adam cheating on her. That's what he is doing now on his wife with Hannah, every chance she gets she is with him and it irritates the shit out of me. It makes me feel sick to think that he is just using this girl that I deeply care about and I won't let it happen any longer.

Hannah

"I don't get it Adam, he blows hot and cold. One minute we are having passionate sex and in the next breath he is asking me when am I moving out." Adam sighs, "Well, I told you he could be a dick. He is a good dad, I'll give him that, but in other ways he's an arsehole." I agree with him, I can't be hanging around someone that I'm attracted to when they are playing games with me and sleeping with another woman. "Can I stay with you tonight, Adam?" He sits back in his chair and laughs, "I really don't think that's a good idea, Natalia will freak." He is right, I don't want to rock the boat on his marriage. "Ok, that's fine. I'll just sneak in and hope he doesn't hear me. I don't really want to see him at the moment, I'm too angry and I'll say something I'll regret." I pay my share of the bill and give Adam a hug, I look up into his eyes and I'm back to being twenty-four year old Hannah again. He lifts my chin with his hand and his mouth is on mine. Feelings of nostalgia, regret, longing and love are churning inside me, I'm so confused, as good as it feels to kiss Adam again I know that my heart is firmly elsewhere now. I pull away first and he brushes his fingers cross his lips, like how a teenager would after he has just had his first kiss. He nods at me with a silent agreement that he knows nothing further will happen between us again, in an odd way I feel like I am losing him all over again, but I know that I am gaining something great in the process. "I'm so grateful for you," he tells me. "No, I'm grateful for you. After all these years and now we are finally back in each other's lives, promise that this will never change, I can't imagine losing you again." He rubs my back and responds, "You never lost me, kid. I was always here."

I go home to an empty apartment, Grover is with my mom as she is in New York, and has volunteered to look after him for the night. She didn't take my pregnancy well at all; I had another lecture on how I'm barely coping with one child let alone another. I love my mother but she just doesn't get me, I'm not perfect, but I know for a fact that I love my kids and they will always come first. Charlie knows that too, I have seen him watching me when I've been looking after Grover and Henry, even if it's just me
reading them a story he has this look on his face and I can tell that he knows that I will be a good mother to his new baby boy. As much as this is a complicated situation there is not another man on this Earth that I would rather be doing this with than Charlie Barber.

Charlie

I come home to silence. Hannah is sleeping in the bedroom, and as much as I want to get in bed and hold her, I know that it could escalate into an argument. I walked to the Brooklyn Bridge, that's where I do a lot of my thinking and just stared out into the night sky. Now that Hannah, Grover, and this new baby are in my life, there is no way I want them to go. I have been incredibly lonely these past couple of years and Hannah has burst in, literally, into my life and has changed it for the better. Tomorrow I will take her out for dinner and I will lay all my cards out on the table. I can't let the one good thing in my life, apart from Henry, leave me this time, no way am I going to let that happen.