MAMA【✔】

Chapter 4

[⚠️Alcohol Usage Warning⚠️]

Katlyn's chest couldn't stop pounding that night. She tossed and turned from being in the foreign home. She had been living with her parent's before she had arrived at Hoseok's home. Her parents didn't want her to leave them after her break up with James, but she told them that the opportunity was just too good and she had to take it while it lasted.

Eventually, she got up and went to the nursery. The baby was sleeping soundly and she sat on the chair next to the crib. She curled up and relaxed into the chair, listening to the soft press of the sleeping baby. She had to admit, the baby was perfect. She wondered how her Thomas would have looked.

That reminded her to unpack the boxes marked Thomas and put away the baby clothes in Hobi's wardrobe. The baby wouldn't fit into any of it yet, but within a couple months they should fit him just right.

She drifted off into a soundless slumber while thinking about baby Hobi and her beloved Thomas.

Katlyn woke up to a jolt. She had a nightmare about losing her baby again. It never went away. Her baby haunted her dreams. They started out happy and turned outright miserable.

Katlyn had been in the nursery at James house. A baby sat in the crib. She smiled and walked over to the crib to see what she imagined Thomas to look like, an absolute angel. The baby looked up at her and waved his arms around, reaching up for her.

She cooed at the baby and picked him up. That's when the trouble started. The baby felt light in her arms. A little too light to say. She patted his back when the baby started coughing. When it stopped she put the poor baby back in his crib, only to find no baby. Just a sack of flour in baby clothes.

She yelped and dropped the flour, but as it descended it turned into her baby. Thomas cried as he fell. Everything was like in slow motion. The baby fell inch by inch every ten seconds, but her body refused to act upon her will. She wanted to reach out and catch her beloved baby. She was paralyzed and forced to watch, because she couldn't blink either. When the baby finally hit the floor, he turned to dust. Then she'd wake up and realizing it was just a dream, but with the fact that Thomas still didn't exist right with her, broke her heart even more.

The dream has effected her everytime she had it. It was torture for her to go through. She had it almost every night too ever since she found out about her miscarriage, a month ago. The only times she could avoid the dream is of she got completely wasted after a whole night of drinking soju and vodka. Mixing her alcohol seemed to make her black out quicker than drinking one drink all night. She was addicted to the bitter taste of vodka. It was like drinking rubbing alcohol, but the feeling it gave her made her happier.

Katlyn when down stairs and opened up some of the cabinets and found the liquor cabinet. She looked from the range of alcohol and noticed it was mostly rum, tequila and malibu. She sighed and checked the fridge and found a couple white claws and the freezer held a bottle of malibu.

She went back to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the tequila and rum. She found a bottle of cola and mixed all three together, the majority being the alcohol. She felt bad knowing she was getting drunk on the job, but her blackouts only lasted maybe five hours. She remembered the first few times she woke up with no hangover. It was only the first few times though. She started getting then, but they distracted her.

In the cabinet she found a hangover prevention medication. Sighing, she took a tablet and hoped it would work. She slowly drank her drink, humming at the bitter taste. The burning sensation was blissful. As she was sitting in the kitchen, drinking, she started to feel the light buzz. She checked the time and hissed at herself. It was 3:59 in the morning.

She quickly gulped down the rest of her drink and explored unseen parts of the house, since Hoseok didn't have time to give her a tour yesterday. She was upstairs and pressed her ear to what she believed was Hoseok's door. She could hear his soft snores. She walked away and then lost her balance right before her door. The alcohol was really kicking in. She giggled at her stupidity.

Down the hall, she hears shuffling come from Hoseok's room. His door opened and frowned when seeing Katlyn on the floor.

"Areum, what are you doing on the floor?" He asked crouching infront of her. He could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"I had a bad dream," she giggled. She looked into his eyes and noticed how the dim light still lit them up.

"You should go to bed," he told her.

"I'm not sure if I can yet, I don't want to remember,"she pouted.

She slowly realized who she was talking to and immediately bowed to him, knocking their heads. He hissed, but she still continued what she was doing.

"Oh my lord, Hoseok, I'm so sorry for over stepping my boundaries. Please forgive me," she whined. She started feeling guilty about her lies but managed to not blurt any of the truth out. She knew that she had to go to her room soon because otherwise she'd blurt out all of her information.

"Areum," Hoseok started. "It's okay, you can tell me anything. What was your dream about?"

Without thinking, she started to blurt out her dream to him. The whole time he listened, even when she changed topic. She couldn't stop talking. He was glad she was opening up, but considering the circumstances, it wasn't a good time.

Eventually, she started sobbing into Hoseok while talking about Thomas. Hoseok was wondering who Thomas was, so he listened carefully. She told him the details of how she lost him due to stress filling her to the brim before high school had ended. Then she started to tell him about how she lied.

She told him about how she was really 19 and that her boyfriend dumped her after the loss of Thomas. She told him about her surgery too. Hoseok felt uncomfortable with her blabbering about herself because he knew that she wouldn't be telling him this, if she wasn't drunk.

She held him tight and a soft sound was emitted from the throat. He didn't think anything of it, until she whispered into his ear that she had been a fan since 2014, but she couldn't careless about that. She told him about how he was her bias wrecker and that Jungkook had been her bias.

"You know, I've always wanted to feel what your hair felt like," she mumbled into his neck and then slid her hand through his hair. Hoseok remembered how Joy loved touching his hair. Hoseok took her hand away from his hair. She outed and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. He didn't regret removing her hand. She wasn't sober. He still hadn't even moved on from Joy. He didnt care that she was a fan, Joy had been a fan too. That's how they met. Being a fan didn't mean anything, it just meant you were already apart of Hoseok's heart.

He stared down at Katlyn. She held eye contact with him and then pushed him away with wide eyes. A confused look appeared on Hoseok's face. He noticed her breathing was quick and shallow. She tried to stand up but wobbled. He guessed she had drank half of his liquor cabinet, or she was a real lightweight. She pushed open her door and then collapsed onto the floor again.

"Katlyn?" He asked.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. Her lips parted and she stared at him with such intensity, it was a weird feeling to Hoseok. He noticed that fear was in her eyes along with something else. He tried to walk toward her, but she signalled him to stop. She crawled to the door and shut it on his face.

Hoseok sighed and went downstairs. It was 5:38. When had he woken up?

[Published August 14th, 2020]