The Emancipation of a Fuckboy [BxB] √

Chapter Twenty-Six

Valentine

The next few days changed so much that I wasn't even expecting it. I couldn't bring myself to focus at work. Dominic keeps on popping out of nowhere inside my head with the sole purpose of entirely demolishing the iota of focus that I'm starting to build in order to be productive. I should've finished a lot of paper works today but the progress I was hoping to achieve was completely crumpled and thrown to the trash bin. Dominic's voice keeps on telling me that he loves me but then he takes it back. I tried a lot of things in order to distract myself from the thought of him. I tried watching some fun videos on YouTube which never failed to suck my attention for a while but then once I decide to get back to work, my head starts hearing Dominic's voice once again. I tried listening to songs and even upped the volume until I received some complains from my employees about the noise. I tried counting while walking back and forth going out of my office to the kitchen area to the dining hall and back again to my office. I did a lot of weird stuff only for nothing. Ivana did notice my apparent uneasiness but she only called it out and did not offer something to help me out. Over all, the day is wasted with pretty much thinking about Dominic. It eventually came down to what ifs.

What if I try talking to Dominic? Perhaps hearing everything come from his mouth will put everything to rest.
But I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to talk to him much less see him.

What if I try meeting other people? Perhaps it might help me forget about Dominic for real this time.
But I already tried that and it's not going to work.

"Hey Valentine!" Ivana shrilled calling for my attention as I was busy locking my office. The day had just reeled to an end and it's finally time for us to go home.
"I know what you're thinking" I raised my finger to her as she was about to approach me.
"I noticed you've been acting off lately" She began. "Dominic?"
"What? No." I turned around to her and we began walking out of the building.
"Psh, stop denying the truth Valentine. I know you've been acting weird since the day we met Dominic, and I know for a fact that Dominic is the sole cause of it. I can smell it and it stinks like shit"
"Okay fine! I admit it. It's Dominic. He's been recently popping on my head, like some random song I just heard on the streets that has a good beat and a catchy lyrics that's been giving me the last song syndrome"
"Have you moved on from him?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Jesus! Just answer the damn question!" Ivana raised her voice, loud enough for it to echo throughout the emptiness of the hallway. She's my only employee that can raise her voice on me but it doesn't even matter.
"I don't know" I said. I know I haven't moved on from Dominic yet but I don't want to admit it either.
"Do you still love him?"
"..." I paused and took a long and deep sigh before finally opening my mouth and answering the question. "I'm afraid I don't quite know how to answer that question."

Laying my eyes on Dominic for the first time in five years gave me mixed emotions. One, the moment was unanticipated and even if the dominant part of me doesn't want to admit it, I was happy to finally see him in the flesh. Two, Even if the less dominant part of me felt happy to see him, the more dominant part was boiling with anger at the same time. Three, somehow there was the underlying feeling of fear creeping inside of me.

"Do you want to forget about him?" Ivana kept on going with her very personal questions. I'm not accusing her of being nosy about my own personal life and I know she's not a part of it but she knows a lot of things. She's basically the only person I could talk to about this. If my life is a movie, she's like the only person in front of the television screen watching this shit go down right now.
"I guess so." I do want to forget about him and move on but I just don't know how to forget about him.
"Do you want to forget about him?" Ivana repeated the question as if I did not hear it clearly the first time.
"Yes." I had to say that. I just had to.
"Good, that's what I want to hear." Ivana said seemingly satisfied with my answer.
"Okay," I mumbled seemingly confused about what is happening right now.

Ivana ceased asking these questions as we continued walking out of the building until we eventually reached the parking lot.

"I know you've been a very big help to me Valentine. This job means a lot to me as a single mother and I just want to return the favor." Ivana began talking once again. We were now inside my car.
"Aw. You're welcome but what do you mean by that?"
"This might not be a big help but I may or may not have something that will help you forget about Dominic." Ivana spat.
"What is it?"
"I just don't know if this will actually help you."
"Just cut to the chase Ivana." I spat right at her. "You're just making me guess and I'm already fatigued."
"You know forgetting doesn't always mean you should erase that person from your memories." Ivana mumbled and then there was silence after that. Without further ado, she reached for her bag and pulled out a dusty old notebook that seemed to be from ten years ago. She's really making me think a lot of things. "Maybe, just maybe, you just need to let them feel what they have made you feel you know. Perhaps that's the only way for you to forget about him without actually forgetting about him." She flipped the pages of the notebook open looking for something and when she found it she gave me the piece of paper.

1. Steal his attention.
2. Make him kiss you.
3. Make him want moooooore.
4. Surprise him.
5. Make him ask you on a date.
6. Make sure that your first date will be memorable.
7. Seduce him and leave him hanging.
8. Make him introduce you to his parents.
9. Make him ask you to be his boyfriend.
10. Destroy him.

I took the piece of paper and that's the moment I knew it was the list that I found from one of Dominic's book five years ago. I can clearly tell from the hand writing that it's the very same one.

"That's the list that you left at that stage" Ivana huffed. I stared at the list in much silence and the pain and agony of that night came rushing right back to me.
"Why do you have this?" I asked ultimately breaking my silence.
"I picked that up when you all left the stage. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to keep it. I should've thrown that in the trash but I couldn't see one so I just slipped it on my notebook hoping to throw it once I see a trash bin. I guess I forgot about it. I did a little bit of cleaning last week and I just found that list still slipped on my notebook"