6:15am Tuesday
I started my period last night and tbh I was hoping it didn't come. I don't know I guess I was getting my own hopes up. Sometimes I think I'm crazy for hoping for things like that. But then I think about the other person or try to put myself in their shoes.
I wonder what it would be like if J brought a baby into his family.
But anyway my cramps are taking over and I'm in a lot of pain. What sometimes makes me feel better is I'll put my hand jus a little bit underneath my panty line..like holding my stomach. And I'll take my thumb and jus slightly rub my stomach..that helps for the minor one's. Sometimes I have bad cramps and I jus shut my eyes really tight and ball up . I feel 1 coming now...and Sometimes I cry . Sometimes I think about if J was here and he'll tell me it'll be ok. He'll rub my stomach. I don't know how it feels to be around J while I'm cramping. He always gets the good end of it. Comforting days like that is what I look forward to.
Little moans came out while another cramp session passed by. But this one was worse. Struggling to find a comfortable position I jus slightly removed my underwear. Pulling them completely off my stomach and now laying on my back. I put my phone on my stomach cause I knew it had heat on it lol but it only helped a little bit. Still struggling to find a position and cramps coming back to back, I hear little scratches and little scratches means I hear a mice who I still call rats. That's not the point though.. I don't have time to fight with this rat right now in the middle of me cramping.
I still turned my flashlight on and stood in my bed and looked down to the floor beside my bed to see nothing. I did the same to the of the headboard and still nothing. The rats like to chew on the wood. They chewed up little holes in the wall but we got them repaired. After all the holes got repaired we didn't see many rats after that it was jus every now and then.
Rats are disrespectful and ghetto. I think they deserve a bad review on Yelp. They jus invade your privacy and come into your home uninvited. Chew holes in your walls and they also messed up the wiring in the house because they CHEW ON EVERYTHING!! Imagine having some fye knee high boots and you put your feet in just to realize your stepping on a dead rat!! So disgusting right. But enough with my rat talk.
