31 Days

Day 2

A/N
Excited for this chapter! There will be a bit of POV switching in this book!!! So get ready.
Ps- No this is not a 5sos fanfic!! Sorry!!! But I do love them :) haha.
I just thought Ashton fit perfectly in what I was imagining Jared to look like.

Ding Dong.

A loud sound went off on the intercom. It woke me up. Sticking my head inbetween pillows I heard a voice start talking on the intercom.

"Youth Breakfast"

It said simply.

"Arghhhhhhhhhhh this is bull shit." I grumbled to my self before jumping out of bed. I quickly walked myselff to the shower in my room and got in. I took a quick ten minute shower and got dressed. Then I French braided my long chocolate brown hair, and washed my face.

Looking into my mirror I expected to see a young girl. About 17. She should have chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes. Fallowed by pink lips.

But this version of me was gone.

What I actually saw was quite different.

Those bright blue eyes were now dull, no hope lingering in them anymore.

Under those blue eyes were plump, pinkish eye bags. Attractive I know.

My hair was braided. But loosely and sloppily done.

My pink lips were chapped.

And my skin was abnormally pale.

Basically I looked horrible.

But who cares.

Absolutely done with looking at this pathetic version of my self, I walked out of my room.

Making sure that I didn't look friendly or even like I cared anymore. I flipped the switch. No pain, no hope, no sadness showing in my features.

I became numb, again.

Jareds POV-

Walking quickly to the cafeteria I grabbed 5 pieces of French toast, bacon, and a chocolate milk. (A/n ITS A CHOCOLATE MILK PARTY ITS A CHOCOLATE MILK PARTY)

Carrying my food I sat with some of my friends just casually making conversation. We talked about upcoming trip we were going on in the ward.

The trip was this weekend and we were going on a mall trip. Everyone was excited. But I couldn't help being sidetracked when I saw that new girl walk in looking miserable.

She had pink bags under her eyes and her hair was done in a messy braid. But she still looked better than anyone I've ever seen in my almost 18 years of life.

She walked over and grabbed an apple juice, a hot coffee, and some bacon. That's a weird choice.

As she walked to the spot I first met her in, her eyes met mine.

Here blue eyes dull and emotionless stared right through my almost brown hazel eyes.

I looked at her with a sad expression and waved her over to my table.

At first she was hesitant but then she nodded and walked over to me.

She set her food down and sat down across from me.

I offered a cheeky smile and decided that if I wasn't the one to talk first we wouldn't talk at all.

"Hi I'm Jared" I started simply, offering my hand.

She looked at me for a bit and responded grabbing my hand to shake it.

"I'm Alex"

A beautiful name for a beautiful girl I thought to myself.

"So what brings you here?" I asked hesitant not to scare her off.

"Oh you know stuff and things." She replied lacing her voice with boredom.

I chuckled at that response. Knowing that I would definitely say something like that.

She giggled along with me. In turn making it hard for me to breathe. Her giggle was the most adorable thing in the world.

Pondering what to say next I saw her blue eyes look down at my plate.

"Damn. You eat like a pig." She stated still staring at my plate in awe.

"I think your delusional. It might be that you eat like a bird." I said chuckling to my self. I mean, I'm not a pig. Just a normal teenage guy. I'm supposed to eat like this.

I looked back over to this beautiful creature.

"Well bye." She said as she got up. As she walked away I found my self looking down at the spot she once sat in. There was a small sticky note folded up.

Opening it made me kind of scared but also curious to what it held inside.

Jared,
You should meet me on the roof at midnight.
No not for sex. You pervert -.-
-Alex

What the hell.

What did I just read.

And why so damn late.

A guy's got to sleep you know.

Picking up my tray I walked over ti the dumping station and threw away all my leftovers.

3 hours later- 11 am-

"How are you feeling?"

This question, the bane of my existence.

Is this the only question psychiatrist's know? Latley that's all I've been hearing.

How are you?

Are you okay?

No

I'm not okay at all. Why do you think I'm here.

"I'm fine" with that I get up and walk out of the session. Point less.

You know. You would think. A guy like me. Fairly good looking. Fairly smart. And popular. You would think I would be happy.

What does one have to do to be happy?

Because right now I would sell my soul for just one minute of happiness.

Just one second to forget this feeling of hatred for myself and for others. I don't want to be sad. Or even numb. I want to feel good again...

"Agrhhhhhhhhhhhh" i cry out.

Tears spilling from my eyes.

Heart pounding.

Blood spilling.

"Help. Please help." I whisper.

"I don't want to feel like this."

I say. Pain lacing my every word.

"Its not worth it."

I whisper one last time before

B..L..A..C..K..

The darkness suddenly surrounds me. Unfortunately I invite it. Hoping I will never know light again. Hoping that this time I won't fail.