STARS | r. lupin (1)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

THE N.E.W.T.s WERE APPROACHING faster than Althea cared to admit. Sure, at first it's just light studying, basic preparations. But soon enough it's creating study schedules, spending hours in the library or common room or dorms bent over various books and papers thrown carelessly in any direction.

February was a hollow dream, a bout of kalopsia in an otherwise frightening world. March was a cold awakening, a harsh reality.

"Have you seen my Potions book?" Aubrey opened drawers and hurried around the room.

"No, but you can borrow mine." Reina handed her a large book. "Loads of helpful notes. I'm not using it right now anyway."

"You're a lifesaver, Rei." Aubrey grabbed the book and sat back down on her bed.

"Tell me Slughorn doesn't actually expect me to make a wolfsbane potion." Caroline complained, "I can barely make a damned sleeping potion, and that's O.W.L. material!"

"It's not his fault you suck at potions." Yasmin shrugged and Althea chucked a pillow at her.

"Shut up!" she yelled, "I have to study Astronomy." She pulled out the seven hundred page book and banged her head against it.

"The relevant pages are two hundred to two hundred and twenty." Reina told her, as if reading her mind.

"I'm so happy that one of us is actually responsible. I don't know what I'd do without you, Rei." Althea grinned, turning to the right page. "Do I have to memorise these moon charts?" she pointed to the book. Reina nodded mutely.

Althea sighed, silently deciding to start with the full moons. Those were always the easiest to remember.

November sixth, December sixth, January fifth...

The more she read on, the more the dates looked familiar. She racked her brain, looking for an answer, and then it hit her. The cold, hard, truth, like a slap in the face.

She opened her top desk drawer and pulled out a small piece of parchment.

Lupin's Mystery:
Sick the 5th Nov.
Leaves the same night
Missing the 6th
Sick the 5th Dec.
Leaves early morning 6th
Missing the 6th

Every single date was identical. Every single lie that he'd made up, every single stupid excuse became more flimsy the longer she thought of it.

'I was sick,' he'd said. He'd left every month on the night of the full moon. How did she not notice? How was she idiotic enough to not see the connection?

Perhaps it was blind trust or stupid naivety that stopped her from realising. From seeing the truth about her...

Friend? Lover?

Liar.

Her hands shook as she placed the piece of paper back in her drawer and closed her textbook. Of course he didn't tell her. How could he ever have a normal life if it got out? But how could he possibly believe that she would turn on him like that?

Stop thinking like that. She told herself, he had every right not to tell you.

Her heart beat wildly in her chest. Her vision darkened. She couldn't think properly. The only thing she could hear was the soft clicks of her shoes against the floor.

"Where are you going?" Caroline asked. Althea didn't answer. She just slammed the door shut behind her and sprinted towards the Gryffindor Tower.

*

Navigating the school in her current state reminded Althea of being a first year again. Nervous, scared and so lost. The walls seemed to close in on her, and she'd only made it halfway to the Gryffindor common room before it felt like too much. Her breathing sped up, the world was spinning around her. Nothing made sense.

She dragged her hand across the wall as she walked, but she stumbled and fell onto her side. She pushed herself up and pulled her knees to her chest, curling into a ball and leaning on the wall.

"Althea." she heard a soft voice. Remus, of course. Like a flashlight in a dark cave. She smiled shakily and looked up at him, right in his bright green eyes. He offered her a hand and she gratefully took it, pulling herself back into her feet. Her breathing returned to normal.

She finally saw him as he really was. A beautiful human, with a devastating problem. Just the thought made her smile.

I've searched for a flaw in you, she thought to herself, and despite my recent discovery, I have yet to find one.

"Althea, are you all right?" he asked, worry evident in his tone. He looked over her for any cuts or signs of instability, but found nothing.

"I-" she hesitated, but straightened her back confidently. "Yes, I think I am."

For the first time, she hadn't thought things through. She'd always felt that the heart was more important than the mind, but she lacked the bravery to do anything impulsive. Now, she'd finally done something stupid and it was terrifyingly amazing.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look a little-" he hesitated.

"Crazy? Tired?" she chuckled. "A little bit. I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I know." she set her hands on his shoulders and tilted her head to the side, brushing a strand of dark blonde hair out of her eye. She was so close she could smell that intoxicatingly sweet chocolate and cinnamon scent.

"Know what?" He laughed nervously. "You're starting to freak me out."

"No, Remus, I know."

He froze.