boy in seoul

chapter six

"Is everything okay?" Marc asked when they exited the apartment building. Kien had been quiet since they had left the apartment in a hurry, Kien almost storming out. Now in response to Marc's question he slowed down so Marc could keep up. They walked a while side by side not saying a word.

"Yeah, Dang is just ..." Kien finally tried to find the words to explain. What was he? Right now a dickhead but he didn't want Marc to think bad of Dang. Kien knew under that angry face Dang was just concerned.

Also, he didn't want to speak about Dang's assumption that he and Marc were in a relationship. It wasn't true but it would probably make the atmosphere between them awkward. Maybe Marc would think he wanted a relationship.

"He doesn't like me very much?" Marc asked. It was a question but Kien could hear the certainty in Marc's voice.

"No. He likes you. It's ..."

"You don't have to lie," Marc interrupted him, "He glared at me the whole time. Have you told him that I know?"

Kien nodded.

"Did you tell him that I'm gay too?"

"No, I wouldn't do that," Kien said quickly looking at Marc for a second. When he noticed his abrupt reaction he stared straight again. Marc had to smile. Kien was being adorable with his sincere worry.

"You can, you know. I don't mind." Marc didn't mind at all, but the fact that Kien had protected his secret was a big deal for him. Having a person respect that part of you enough to guard it and not use it as small-talk material. Every not-straight person can probably agree that having such a friend means the world.

"Is it really okay?" Kien asked shy but secretly with wonder. Wonder of how easy-going Marc was with his sexuality.

"Yeah, if you trust that person." Marc had decided a long time ago that he would not hide. He was still careful though. "As long as you don't shout it out on the next life stage you guys do?" Marc cracked a joke and chuckled at it.

Kien didn't. It was still foreign for him to make jokes about something like that. His biggest fear. Silence fell upon the two while they walk closer to the food market.

"I think Dang is just worried," Marc sighed. With a side-glance, he was eyeing Kien for his reaction.

"I guess," Kien whispered. Marc saw his adam's apple rise and fall and then a sad expression covered Kien's face. "He is always the one who takes care of me. Even though I am older. How pathetic."

"Not pathetic. You're what two years apart?"

"Yeah. Two years."

"I know age is a big thing in Korea but two years is nothing," Marc tried to give Kien another perspective. Even if it was sort of uncalled for. "And I am sure he isn't the only one taking care of the other?"

"No, he is the one who helped me," Kien said clearly thinking about a specific event in their past.

"You wanna talk about it?" Marc asked but he already knew Kien wouldn't. The weight in his voice was too heavy. Their friendship wasn't strong enough to hold such weight yet.

"I don't know. Dang is kinda the only person who knows."

"I won't tell," Marc tried. Kien pressed his lips together for a moment while he thought about it.

"Let's just say that my trainee days weren't very successful and I missed my first chance of debuting." Kien paused for a moment. It was hard for him to say it out loud. His failure still hurt badly.