Diluted

~2~

Ember grips the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turn white. She tries to resist the urge to slam her head into the steering wheel.

"Stupid shit!" She screams at the top of her lunges.

She grits her teeth and fights the urge to cry.

She's never been one for crying out in public or in front of anyone. If she's going to cry it's going to have to be at home when she's by herself.

Eventually she does hit her head against the wheel.

She's so upset.

When she was in the restaurant she got a message from her friend asking about this guy that she had met online back when she was thirteen.

Ember, unwisely unblocked him so she could show her friends who he is.
And instead of blocking him again she let him send her a message. His message was lewd as always.
She doesn't understand why she keeps letting him do this to her.

She feels so dirty and unloved. She feels like an object.

Ember grabs her phone and blocks him again.

"I hate you!" She screams as she throws her phone into her bag.

She feels a tear threaten to escape one of her eyes.

She takes a deep breath and starts up her car pulling away from the restaurant.

She speeds down the road, not caring if she gets a ticket or not. She just wants to get home so she can cry in her room.

"I hate you," she whispers to herself, as she bites her lip. The thing is, Ember hates herself more than anyone.

Ember blames herself, the first time she had talked to him she was really young and she didn't know what she was doing. She didn't understand that he was a predator. But this time she blames herself, she shouldn't have unblocked him.

Ember pulls her car into a parking space and gets out.

She close the door to her Dodge Challenger gently, even though she wants to slam the door.

She locks her car and then runs up the steps.

Tears are trying to spill as she gets to her door and opens it.

She slams it shut and then sinks to the ground.

She couldn't even wait till she got to her room, the tears have already started spilling down her face, staining it.

She hugs her knees to her chest and sobs.

She wants to break something, she just wants to smash stuff.

"Bastard!" She screams as she runs into her bathroom.

She takes a couple deep breaths.

She strips out of all of her closes and throws them carelessly on the floor.

She stops and stares at herself in the mirror.

"Ugly! Whore!" She screams at herself.

The tears only increase as she verbally tears herself apart.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" She yells.

She knows she will probably get a noise complaint but she doesn't care.

"Ugly! Why do you have to be so ugly! Why-," she cries as she points at herself.

She looks at her body and points at all the parts she hates.

"Fat! Ugly! No wonder they only want your body! You're such a worthless piece of shit!" Ember screams at herself.

She turns around and turns on the shower.