Diluted

~17~

*Flash back*

Ember sighs as she puts her phone down.
She feels like such a dirty whore for talking to him and for wanting him back.

She sighs as she curls her legs into her chest. She pets Blackbeard's fur as she feels tears prick her eyes.

"He's so disgusting, he makes me so disgusting. Why do I want him back?" Ember sobs hysterically.

Blackbeard whimpers and Ember strokes his stomach.

She remembers back to several weeks ago when she first met the dude.

He was so nice. Saying things like she's "cute", she's "adorable". He told her that it was a privilege that he got the chance to talk to her.
Ember is so easily swooned.

More tears flow down Ember's face as she thinks back to the things he asked her to do. They way he looked at her, the way he jerked off to her.

It disgusts Ember. Everything about him disgusts her but at the same time she's so desperate to be loved that any and every complement meant the world to her. He's the first guy to ever be considerate and consider her needs as well, even if it was for his own selfish and dirty intentions. Ember feels like a fool for giving in to him, for liking him even.

It doesn't help the fact that he was her taste in men.

Ember pulls at her hair as she lets out a sob.

She wishes someone would love her and not just for her body.
She wishes she actually knew what love is.

She doesn't love him and he doesn't love her.

"He never even called me beautiful. It was always, you're so cute, you're so adorable," Ember growls as she looks at Blackbeard.

Blackbeard just tilts his head at her.

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" Ember complains as she flops down on the floor.

She knows she's dirty. She can feel it, she can sense it. She's sure that everyone else around her can see what a whore she is.

Always seeing the best in everyone, always begging for the attention of men.

"They all just want inside me," Ember sobs.

She grabs at her hair again and lets out a breathy scream.

"Whore!" Ember screams as she stands up.

Blackbeard looks up at her before putting his head back down.

Ember walks into her bathroom and looks at her tear stained face.

"Stupid whore," she mutters.

She looks down at her body and frowns.

"They don't even like you," Ember mutters to herself.

She sinks to the floor as she rubs her face.

Ember punches the floor and bites her bottom lip, holding back more tears that threaten to fall.

In her head her brain screams, "Don't seek things if you can't take the consequences."

Ember shakes her head as the tears fall down.

Ember's dad's voice pops into her head, "I'm not saying it's your fault but you're going to have to deal with the consequences."

Ember sighs.