Summer of 2019, California. I stood outside my own door for the first time, trying to bring myself to knock.
My knuckles turned white on both hands. One on the handle to my suitcase and the other fisted and hovering over the door... stagnant.
Why d...
15 March 2020 a screaming baby boy was born. His mother who in her exhaustion refused to rest before she could see him held his little pink body in her arms.
His tiny fingers raped around hers blindly and his feet kicked at his blanket. One which was stain white and soft and weirdly smelt like her.
It was then that his mother, one Tsegofatso Angel Ngeko, named him. Once she saw him she could only think of one name for the little boy who held every last piece of her. For the treasure she knew it before she met him.
With fully real smile on her face she said, "Yesterday."
The brothers looked up at me then so I repeated myself, "Yesterday. His name is Yesterday."
Logan looked to his brother. Hands behind his back before he turned back to Yesterday and said, "welcome to the family Yesterday Ballec."
With that I slept, with the knowledge of how it felt to hold my son.
When I woke both brothers where on my bed. Both sporting worried looks. I sat up and sighed, "I don't like it when you look at me like that."
"How about we take you shopping today?"
I couldn't think of anyway to get out of doing this so I agreed. I knew Yesterday wouldn't be able to come as he was only a few days old. Rose would take care of him I knew.
Turns out she is human, Yesterday managed to bring that out of people I suppose. Even me... on occasion.
I dressed and when I was ready both boys walk me to the car. Logan - as always drove- Landen sat with me. He was playing with my fingers absent mindedly. I knew this was for my benefit.
Not that it ever did bring me out of the empty voids my mind sunk into. His touch for me could mean too many things. Too many very painful things.
The shopping drew on. This shop and the next and the next. Neither brither was willing to stop until they felt I had bought enough clothing to redo my entire wardrobe. So yes inevitably we would have ended up at the boutique in which I once worked.
This wasn't by their design of course because firstly. Neither knew or even cared about the specifics of my job back then. Neither had actually ever seen it either.
In we walked and in we stayed until had chosen 20+ items. Stephanie was at the till when we came up to it. Her smile bright and then dim as recognition came. She was quiet... for a moment. Then she seemingly noticed my companions and was scared.
... as is everyone my dear. I didn't hold it against her. She put our chosen items on order. With that we were done. It was as Logan handed her his card that she looked up at me. Then she smiled much like she had when I first met her. Expect now... I guess she pitied me.
I smiled back at her before I backed away slowly. The image of her sad smile engraved in my mind as I walked to the door. At some point the brothers followed. We went toward the car- or that's what they thought anyways. The second my feet touched pavement I ran.
They called after me, they followed I didn't care. I turned a corner and almost ran into someone. I turned to see who and to check how close the brothers where. It was Drake. His eyes were wide for a second and I smiled at him.
He seemed to see something because he called my name and tried to stop me. I turned and saw the car coming towards me so I picked up my pace and when it hit me. I never felt the pain. Not ever again.
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