sinful memoirs

love and hate

You know . . . I really do love my fluff.

I love reading it, like hell yes, domestic activities? Finally, confessing to each other after pining for months or years? Or waking up tangled in each other's arms having kisses?

I love that! I really do! Because there's no harm in writing about the sweet stuff, life is short go smooch somebody! (Make sure it's okay with them though.)

Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad prompt . . . But kidding aside, I really do adore when writers are able to balance fluff and how it can come close to real-life events you know?

You're never gonna be comfortable cuddling with someone, sometimes you gotta adjust your bodies to get the right spot.

You're never gonna like each other's minty breath while kissing them it's just how it is.

But all in all, it's still good fluff!

But believe it or not, I also resent it.

Because it reminds me too much of the past lovers I was with. Whether it was just me pouring my heart and soul onto them, or they're just trying to reciprocate the feelings because they feel bad that they don't feel the same;_;

Yes, I have loved people who didn't love me back. Quite bitter no?

And I don't know, maybe I'm too foolish? But that's just the side effect of loving someone right? I guess it's a curse of mine really, I tend to love people who I know won't love me back.

I guess it's alright as long as they were happy with the times I'm with them. I hope I was an okay company, I hope I didn't bore them.

Was that too personal? I hope not, maybe some of you can relate as well.

Sometimes when you're loving people, it's scary, the fact that you can do everything for them for a lifetime can be all useless once their feelings die down in just a day. And yes, that has happened to me . . . Countless times.

What hurts more is that you know you love each other but you know you can't be together. Homophobia, judgy people, rumors, responsibilities, but deep down inside you, you know you want to love them so badly.

But the universe has a harsh way of telling no.

So yeah, I have a love and hate relationship against fluff. Mostly love though!