sinful memoirs

more years to come

You are not the paragon for a femme fatale.

You are envious of other girls with slimmed curves and a beautiful complexion.

You compare yourself to others as a means to know where you stand in the grand spectrum of relevancy.

You strived to become what you are today.

Flawed, skilled, defective, rough around the edges, akind, stringent, and impulsive.

That's how your friends would define you, they won't hold back about the things you're lacking. Won't hesitate, won't skip a beat to point out your missteps.

Because you want them to. You encourage them to. You have grown from an insecure little girl to a person who accepts criticism both personal and constructive to build up this facade that people know of you.

And when you work, your eyes are clouded by work. Work always comes first. Because at work, you can do all things and people won't bat an eye on you.

They don't see you crying while working.

They don't see your personal problems slipping away.

And they don't see you while you're on the edge of giving up.

You are flawed, you are always flawed and will continue to be flawed. That's the reason why most people won't stay with you.

Apart from your upfront and blunt facade, you are strangely flawed in being kind and loving others.

You love too much, never too little. Because you want to let them know how much they mean to you.

Continuously talking to them even if they're not interested, reply to their shared posts to check up on them, so don't make your love a bargain.

So light up the candles and sing a song,

Happy birthday to you will be enough.

For more years to come and to improve,

Both in yourself, and for others too.

Another year of existence, another year to continue practicing, another year to keep on living. Hey self, stop being an asshole to others will you? Start being sensitive and simmer your ego a bit.

You have a long life to live, you will continue to improve. You are flawed, and you need to acknowledge that you'll never be exceptional.

But you could always be better. And better you shall strive.

-

happy birthday to other September celebrants!

a realistic take about greeting yourself a happy birthday, i know, not your sweet fluffy "love yourself and others!!"

the reason why it wasnt as kind bc last year was such a disastrous year for me, but hey, there are more years to come. that puts me at ease.