WEAKNESS #3
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❝ He's too curious for his own good. ❞☾ 𓅓
THE INSTANCES where I feel completely confident in myself are all but rare.
In hindsight, it sounds entirely self-deprecating when I put it that way, but I tend to come off as pessimistic, so bear with me here.
I mean, it's difficult, right? To carry yourself the way you want to and without paying mind to others? Maybe for some people, it's just second nature, but I'm not like them.
Trust me when I say that I don't like the side-eyed looks of disappointment, the muttered judgements about my character, the scalding comments disguised as constructive criticism (or maybe I'm just imagining it all).
I don't like making up worst-case scenarios, dreading every unfavorable situation that comes my way, and letting anxiety sink its teeth in.
I don't like thinking, thinking, and overthinking.
But that's just how I've lived and thought for as long as I've been me.
"Mochizuki Tomoyo..."
Because of all that, I guess, a strange combination of comfort and dignity stirs within me whenever I'm left alone with nothing but a series of math equations and the confidence of knowing exactly how to solve them.
And there's nothing else that can give me the same amount of clarity when I experience these far-and-few-between moments of certitude.
"Score of one-hundred." Ms. Itō showed me a rare smile as she handed my test back. "Nice work."
And that's when I know — I have to continue.
I have to do even better.
That's how someone like me can chase this stupidly addicting, elusive feeling of pride, no matter how small it may be.
I have to keep going, here in this place where I fight alone, win alone, lose alone.
Here, in my domain.
Ah, shoot. That sounded awfully arrogant for someone who was belittling herself earlier. Let's tone down the ego a bit. Why am I being so sensitive anyway? Maybe I didn't sleep enough last night, especially with everything that's happened lately. Or maybe I still haven't gotten over the argument from this morning.
"A perfect score, right off the bat!" Mitsu whistled, leaning close to catch a glimpse of my paper and pulling me out of the whirlwind of my thoughts. "Ah, I knew I should've put a negative sign there."
"What did you get?"
"Ta-da!" She showcased her quiz and flashed me a bright grin.
"Seventy-seven?"
"Yep! And you know how seven is my lucky number? Seeing it show up twice, side-by-side, should mean that something good is gonna happen! Maybe I'll finally get to kick Itachiyama's ass in the competition this year!"
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𝗔𝗖𝗘𝗗 𝗢𝗨𝗧! | bokuto kōtarō
Fanfiction[SLOW UPDATES] they were as different as they could be, but from calc exams to volleyball matches, the two of them shared the same goal: ━━━━━━ 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗲 '𝗲𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗹! ( start: june 28, 2020 ) ( end: )