Hamliza Oneshots

It's quiet uptown <Angst>

Eliza POV

For context reasons Alexander has released the Reynolds Pamphlet and Philip is on his death bed and its Historical

"Un, Duex, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, nuef" I said, making sure that my son was still alive. He weakly replied following my counting, but I could tell that he wasn't going to make it. " Good, Un, duex, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, nuef-" there was no response. "sept, huit, nuef- sept huit_" I cant belive it, he's... gone! I couldn't hold it in anymore, I fell to the ground screaming, I just lost my son. Alexander tried to hold me but I shrugged him off. I'm still mad at him, but I might just have to forgive him soon. The doctor led me and Alexander out of the room and we headed home.

*2 weeks later*

Philips funeral was 2 days ago, but I cant stay at our house anymore it reminds me of Philip too much. I told Alexander that I was moving uptown with him or without him.

Luckily for me he said he was going to join us but on the outside I pretended like I didnt care.

*2 weeks later*

It has been over a month since Philip has passed and me and Angie, my daughter, still cant accept that hes gone. We both lock ourselves in our rooms barely eating or sleeping. I can tell my figure is changing because none of my old gowns fit me they're all loose.

Alex knew I wasnt doing well and he knew I havent seen the light of day in a while so today he told me I'm going on a walk with him to help my mental health. It's been a long time since me and Alex have been on walks. The last time I went on a walk with Alex was before he published the Reynolds Pamphlet, that thing still haunts me, but like I said I have to forgive him one day.

*30 minutes later*

Going on a walk with Alex isnt as bad as I thought it would be. I can sense everyone staring at us, god this was awkward.

Alexander's POV

It was nice to finally be with Eliza. Eliza has been really distant since we moved, I'm getting really worried about her and Angie too. As soon as we moved to our house upstate I've been sleeping in my office, luckily it wasnt too uncomfortable. They never eat anything and if they go outside it's just to go in the corner of the garden Eliza dedicated to Philip. They never go near the Piano either. I can tell how much they're hurting but people grieve differently and I guess my grieving only lasted until we got here.

I know that people are staring but I've gotten used to it. I've gotten use to the stares and the whispers but this time they were worse and I understand why. Why would Eliza want to be with me after what I done to her? I basically killed our son. I told him what to do, I gave him my guns I instructed him on what to do and now hes dead.

This was either going to go well or really bad. "Eliza do you like it uptown? Its quiet uptown." I saw Eliza slowly nod to me. This was going alright I think. "Look around Eliza, its gorgeous and the church is just as beautiful, you should join me and the children on Sunday, I think you'll enjoy it." Let's just hope I didnt mess everything up by saying that.

"I'll think about it Alex." She said with a raspy voice which I wasnt surprised about she barely even spoke at dinner apart from the small thank you to the chef who cooked it, but she said she might, this is good, maybe we can rekindle the flame inside of us for our love, just maybe.

*5 weeks later*

Everything in my life was working a little bit. Eliza joined me and the children at church, she was eating more, she talked to the kids a bit more, we went on walks a bit more, people still whispered and stared but it was fine because things might be getting better.

Its officially be 9 weeks since I basically killed my son, and just the same as any other day Eliza was in the garden just sat on the bench near Philip's favorite part in the garden.

I walk outside with a shawl for Eliza to wrap around her shoulders because it was cold outside and she was in her nightgown.

As soon as I got to where she was sat I handed her the shawl and I asked if i could sit next to her knowing i didnt want to mess things up, and luckily for me she let me sit there.

"Look at where we are, Look at where we started." I knew I was going to start rambling soon, and this just happened to be the time. I saw Eliza slightly look at me adjusting the shawl on her shoulders.

"I know I dont deserve you Eliza, but hear me out, that would be enough." I could feel my eyes start to water as I knew what I was going to say.

"If I could spare his life, if I could trade his life for mine, he'd be sitting by your side, and you would smile, and that would be enough." As soon as I said that i broke down crying. Its true I would trade anything for Eliza to be happy right now, even if that meant me getting in the duel instead of my son, even if that meant Eliza lost me I wouldnt mind because then atleast she still had Philip.

"I dont pretend to know the challenges we're facing, I know theres no replacing what we've lost and you need time. But I'm not afraid." Its true that I knew what challenges she was facing. After John died i shut down for a while. Writing to escape the reality of his death. If it weren't for Eliza I probably wouldve worked myself to death.

"I know who I married. Just let me stay here by your side, that would be enough." I had finally gotten it out of my system. I told Eliza what I wanted to tell her. I got up and left. Her not stopping me as I walked away.

*3 weeks later*

Life has pretty much been the same, but now it's been three months since Philip's death. I can still remeber when I told Philip what to do during the duel and it's so painful to rember I didnt do anything to stop the duel from happening.

Just as I expected Eliza was in the garden. I went out and instead of sitting down on the bench Eliza was sat down on the floor with a bunch of flowers she picked from the garden on her lap, tears slowly dripping onto them.

I slowly sat next to her not wanting to disrupt her. She greeted me with a small "Hey" once she realised I was here.

"I know we havent talked about it much but I'm really sorry for encouraging him to duel Eaker. If I could turn back time and trade places with him, I would. I just want you to be happy, and the only way i think you would be happy would be if I traded places with Philip. I'm not asking for full forgiveness but any forgiveness from you Eliza would be amazing. I just want my cheerful Eliza back. The one that would sit at the Piano for hours on end making up songs. But its my fault that Eliza has gone, disappeared. I'm really sorry Eliza and I know that no amount of begging will fix the hole in your heart. But just know I'm truly sorry for every ounce of pain I caused you, even with the Reynild Pamphlet. I'm really sorry Eliza." I was silently crying now. A few sniffs coming from me now and then, then something happend. Eliza grabbed my hand.

"I forgive you Alexander Hamilton. I've already lost my son and I dont want to loose you, so I forgive you. You just have to promise me that nothing like anything that has happened in our life happens again, okay?" was this what it felt like to be forgiven? It's not as good as I thought it would be, it's kind of painful. I know I would never cheat on her again or help my sons out if they got into a duel.

"I promise to never do stuff like that again." After saying that I just broke down. I broke down crying of happiness. I've finally gotten Eliza back.

Forgiveness, can you imagine?

----------------------

How was that? Is that angsty enough for some people?