The Reflection We Fear || Taekook

Chapter 17: Long Live The King

It was quiet in the corridor. No sound of people walking around, no sound of high heels and shoes knocking against the floor, to echo down the hallway. It was just him and his quiet breathing that filled the air in the room. Just him and the stillness of the world that surrounded him. It was pretty much nerve-wracking. It had been nerve-wracking for the past week or so, when he had debated this idea over and over again, in his head. Like a fucking cassette that was broke and could only play one track. This was bad. A very bad and stupid idea that would only result in him getting hurt and yet, he still played it on, in his brain because he was that fucking dumb. Apparently, he liked to torture himself, though what was new. Like he could fucking control the thoughts in his head. Like he could fucking stop it. There was no stopping it. It was just him and his stupid thoughts plaguing him over and over again. It was just him. And he was afraid of himself. He was always afraid of himself. Always so scared, even though his job required him not to be. But what the hell, not that he could control it. He was going to be afraid because he was past mourning now. It was just a matter of time to get past being scared. Though fear was a fickle thing. It, infested people's brains and never let go. Well almost never let go. It was hard to flush out that disease from the brain, once it had installed itself there. Fear only existed in the brain and the only way to stop it was to fool your own mind. That was easier said than down, though. That was almost impossible.

So yeah, right now he was fucking shitting himself. He was, because there was this one fucking thing, he had to do which he couldn't possibly do and yet, here he was in front of the fucking office, to get checked whether he was stable enough to do what he wanted to when he asked permission. It was just a matter of time before they would call him in, after the fucking therapist had sold out all of his documents to fucking Park because that's how things worked around here. That's how things always fucking worked around here. Confidentiality, fuck that shit, no one cares about that when it comes to a cop. No one. It's not like Lee had a choice but it still pissed Hoseok off. What the fuck was that rant about nothing leaving that room? About this being a protected safe place where Hoseok could just lay out all his problems, only for it to be told to fucking Park because they think he is mentally unstable. For fucks sake! Who is stable in this fucking job? In this fucking department? No one is and yet, because his fucking partner was a rat, now he has to get revealed to his superior. Fucking great, just what he fucking needed on top of everything.

The door next to the bench Hoseok was currently sitting at, bouncing his legs and biting his nails, opened suddenly disturbing the quiet with a loud creak. Hoseok looked up from where he was sitting and there was Lee standing with a warm smile on her face, the type only psychiatrists can have when they are talking to patients trying to tell them it's okay to feel. Of course, it's fucking okay. It's just shit when you feel too much. But the woman stood there looking down at Hoseok as if he weren't a patient or a cop that insulted her the last time, they had seen each other.

"You can come in, Agent Jung." She spoke in as soft voice; her whole appearance was soft, and it made Hoseok feel uncomfortable. As if the woman was some fucking angel or what.

"Are you sure? You are done gossiping behind my back like fucking teenage girls?" His tone was harsh and cold. The woman technically did nothing wrong, but Hoseok still felt like he was fucking betrayed and that hurt him more than anything else. He was fucking betrayed and call him childish, but he has been through enough shit already. He had been through too much and he deserved a break. He deserved to act like he wanted after all of the shit he had been through.

"You sound bitter, Agent Jung." The woman commented and Hoseok just looked up at her with a dead pan expression. He liked to call it the what the fuck face, which he often used, when someone was bullshitting him.

"No shit, sherlock. Let's just fucking get this over with." Hoseok groaned as he stood up and pushed past the woman to enter the office.

Park Eunbi was sitting in the chair behind her desk, looking like she was out of a fucking crime story and was the centre of the fucking world. It pissed Hoseok off a bit to feel like he was in this woman's hand because right now, he was. He needed something from her and the only way to get it was if he agreed to this meeting.