a lifetime with you

6│forward

Time moved forward. It was December. We had to study for exams for it was in two weeks. 

I was a mess. I was setting my sights on the honour roll, since my parents were telling me that I have to be a part of it. I wanted to get the exam week over with, though, I was highly strung. I mean, could I do that? Honour roll? I must've been insane to think I could ever be a part of it. Or maybe it was just my self-deprecating attitude that held me back. 

Ugh. Who cares. I just wanted to see how this would all play out. I was tenacious though, I really wanted to impress my parents. This time, I couldn't see the bigger picture and I continued to strive for the best. The pressure imposed on me was very burdensome, I just wanted it to end. 


[ a week later ]  

In my school, there was always a review week before exam week. The week, clearly for study purposes only, was stressful as we inched closer to our periodicals. I was fundamentally trudging through this week like a zombie. 

Maybe if I shut my eyes, it would already be exam week. I just got.. this feeling of emptiness. I was in the middle of feeling good or bad. I felt blank. 






Around the corner.

You'll find it, Andrea.

[ another week later ]

December 9. It was Day 1 of exam week. I was skittish and uneasy because I didn't review at all. 

Before I knew it, the bell rang, signifying that it was time for our recess period. I went over to talk to Kathryn, a friend of mine. She was always a good friend to me.

That changed a little, though. 

She was blinded by hatred since she was opressed by friends that meant the world to her. Ever since they've done that to her, she was unaware that she inflicted it on me. Even my good friends, Rey, Cat and Nella got pulled into her anger. 

I couldn't accept that she cursed out my friends. I couldn't. I could never. I still managed to tolerate her acts even though it was starting to bruise me.

-

The day was over and we had to go home. As always, I walked home with Nella and the lovebirds. There was always extreme amounts of joy when I was with them. They made me laugh all the time and being in their company made me feel at ease. 

As I waved goodbye and boarded my school bus, I knew that I had to review once I got home. I eagerly hoped that I'd be able to answer well enough to make it to honours. 

[ the next day ]

Day 2 of examinations. At this point, I started to feel nothing about the tests anymore. I was continually on edge due to the pressure and expectations that my parents set for me.  

As I took my pen, I started to write down answers that were becoming useless to me. I wrote answers that all became foggy and unclear.

Then I reached the essay part.

I grew enthused. With pristine writing, I wrote it all down and let my pen flow through the paper as words formed in my brain that my hand dispatched onto the paper. 

I made it natural. All the words flooding onto the paper, my brain overflowing with ideas to the answer. 

I loved to write. I love filling up the pages with word after word after word. I love to write until I can't write anymore. Writing is my passion. The beauty of words... it's amazing. 

-

"Hey, Andrea! Wake up."


I feel a pat on my shoulder and see that the papers are being collected. I jolt upright and quickly grab the papers being passed to me from behind, placing mine on top and giving it to the person in front of me.

I shake my head and stand up, getting ready to get my bag for dismissal.