13 Reasons Why : A part of me

CLAY Fucking JENSEN

"is it okay" I asked

"More than ok" she replied and I started kissing her again, it was brilliant, her lips were soft, here hair were smooth, but suddenly it all stopped she pushed me away.

"What happened" she looked panicked and hid her face behind her hands I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her but she shrugged it off.

"Go" she said in sobs

"What's wrong" I asked again "did I do something wrong, I'm sorry Hannah I just thought you were alright with this"

"Just leave me alone"

"Hannah, tell me what's the problem" I insisted

"just go" she shouted

"ok, I'll go at least tell me what's wrong" I asked again I don't know why but I don't wanted leave her alone drunk and crying.

"Just get the fuck out of here" she shouted again

I stared leaving, I was on the door when I heard her voice again "I need you"

I woke up, panting looked around me it was dark, I realized I was fucking dreaming again, the same dream which I've been dreaming for last two weeks since Hannah tried to kill herself, I STILL can't Believe she did that, I've been trying to see her for last two weeks but I'm not able to she is in hospital unconscious, fragile and broken, I don't think I would be able to stand her sight like this, I love the smiling Hannah, I want her to smile again, and I tried seeing her in hospital too I've been going to the hospital for last 2 weeks, every fucking day I go there with the determination of facing the truth, with the hope of holding her hand, but all I'm able to do is standing on hospital gate and staring at the building, once I sat in front of the hospital for almost six hours and I missed school that day, millions of text from my parents, but I wasn't able to buzz myself as I've been feeling lost everyday and 2 days ago I entered the building, I was almost on Fifth floor in which Hannah is right now, But I wasn't able to see her that day again as I panicked.

I had my breakfast as usual, yeah my parents has started the staring again which they used to do while I was on medications, they try their best to look in other directions when I notice.

I was on my way to school, I was walking I don't feel like cycling today. Again I'll have to see her locker, I miss her smile which she used to give me whenever I looked at her, "hey what You doing" a voice cut off my thoughts, I turned and saw Justin the star jock "I just-" I started but he cut me off "you aren't innocent either, no matter what she says"

What he's talking about " you don't even know my name"

"Off course I do, clay" he said sternly, suddenly out of nowhere Mr. Porter appeared and called us. It was the most peculiar conversation I had with someone.

Now tony is giving me ride to my home and something unusual happened some of the Jocks asked me to give me ride, but out of nowhere tony appeared and asked me to come in the car. The day was all bad some of the people I don't know very well were staring at me, like I've stolen something from them.

I said bye to Tony, started walking towards my home door, but then my eyes fell on a brown parcel sitting on my doorstep, I went for it and on the top of the box it was written "CLAY JENSEN"