The Adonis In Blue Jeans

Chapter 17

As I reached for the handle on the door, the bell rang. Looking through the peephole I could see him standing there, looking directly at me.
"Come on Sophie, don't pretend you're not there I can hear you. Please just let me in." He placed one hand either side of the door and looked through the peephole again, his hair wild around his face. "Please, just let me explain. Ten minutes, that all I ask. Please"
I had no escape. Since the back garden was such an over grown mess I'd never make it to the back gate. This was my only way in and out. I turned the key and opened the door, stepping to one side to let him past.
He scooted past me, taking care not to touch me, probably after my behaviour earlier he was on edge. Well tough.
"Take a seat" I directed towards the couch, and then placed myself in the chair opposite.
"Can't even bare to sit next to me now?" He asked sounding downcast.
"You're lucky we're even in the same room" I could hear the venom in my voice, but inside my heart was breaking and all I wanted him to do was touch me and tell me it'd all been one big mistake.
His arms were resting on his knees and he dropped his head down. As he looked up he brought his fingers through his hair and let out a breath. "Ok" he breathed out.
"Firstly I want to apologise for my behaviour on New Year, running out and how I spoke to you in the cab was wrong, I know I was wrong."
Understatement of the century
"Anyway" he continued "What you have to understand is what me and Karina had, it was always for show, everything. I mean we even sold our wedding pictures for Christ sake! Before the wedding things were ok, we we're always so busy and I suppose we got swept up in everything. But at home, especially after the wedding there was nothing, no love, no intimacy. Nothing like what we have - or did have" He looked up at me, and I folded my arms across my chest.
"It really did seem she wanted a wedding not a marriage. If I planned a surprise something always came up and she'd never show pretty much we lived separate lives. I was dragged out for events that was it. After the first six months we didn't even share a bed."
"Two years in I started seeing other women, not telling her but not exactly hiding it, and I never brought any of them home"
"Oh how gentlemanly of you" I muttered
"She found out eventually and demanded I stop seeing these women as it looked bad on her, and she wouldn't be taken for a fool, I knew it was a stupid situation so I filed for divorce."
"I know now I never should have married her, I was stupid and acted like a complete spineless vindictive idiot."
"After the divorce we didn't see each other for several years, her career was in Italy and I obviously worked all over. But I felt guilty for all I had done and had put her through -even if at times it was both ways."
"Anyway, long story short, over the last two years her career has taken a nose dive, she's had money troubles, modelling jobs have dried up and the press don't pay her any attention anymore. When I saw her in New York she told me she'd finally met someone and was happy - that's when I told her about us."
He stood up and started pacing around the lounge "You obviously know briefly what happened New Year's Eve, but it's not the whole story"
"It never seems to be with you" I said looking up at him.
"The guy she'd been seeing was a druggie and a fraud. He'd taken money from her accounts to fuel his habit, got her addicted and had broken her Soph. Everything she had she didn't own, everything was gone, she hit the bottle hard for a few weeks and then New Year she tried to end it. When she was released from hospital she had nowhere to go. They wanted to send her to rehab but she refused. What else was I supposed to do?" He asked exasperated in front of me.
"After the incident yes she sold her story to the press, and yes I knew she was doing it - it made her some money. Stupidly I never asked what she'd said. I know I should have been in touch with you when it hit but I honestly haven't had a moment to myself. She is a nightmare to be with. Her PA and I have been on twenty four seven monitoring her, she's tried to drink everything in the house, and is climbing the walls. She blamed everything on me - apparently I ruined her. I didn't want to bring you into it all"
"You need to get her help Jason, it's not your place to do it and it's not safe for her" I said.
"I know" He dropped to his knees in front of me, placing his hands on my thighs.
"It all came to a head last night, while I was listening to the message from Lukas, she managed to sneak out, and when we found her she was trying to score outside of the tube station. She's in rehab now and I'm done Sophie I swear to you I'm done." He looked up at me tears in his eyes, pleading me to give him something.
"I don't know" I said staring down at this man who had become my world, yet could tear me apart so easily.
"Please, it's you who I want. I know I messed it up through my guilt about her. I know I should've told you sooner but I swear I only did it to protect you. You have to believe me. I love you Sophie."
Tears started to spring from my eyes, looking down at this fallen angel crumpled at my feet. "I think you need to go Jason" I said trying to dry my tears.
"Please Sophie, this can't be it, please just give me one more chance, I'll prove myself to you. You're mine and I'm yours remember that. We're made for each other." He babbled clambering to his feet as I rose from the chair.
"Look, I need time to think, and to do that I can't have you near me, could you please leave. It's the least you can do" He walked towards the door, as he passed he slowly stopped in front of me; and tentatively kissed me on my cheek.
As the door shut behind him I fell to the floor and cried.