The Skeleton & The Carpenter

First is the Worst

         "Did I really just give up my shot at beatin' John Bellvins and bein' crowned Wood Wizard so I could grow a mustache? I must be losin' my mind, Rog. From hangin' out with you too much, no doubt."

They broke free of the crowd and headed for the buffet table in another of the convention center's many halls.

"You did great up there." said Roger, grabbing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Until I surrendered, you mean." Hardware Guy crammed a handful of cashews into his mouth. "Grrssh, I dughnno vhhtt I wzz thrnkn."

Roger nodded, pretending to understand, and then took the opportunity to change the subject,

"So, how did it feel to be up there? Were you nervous?"

"Course I was nervous! Nervous as all get out! Walkin' on stage is the worst of it, though. As soon as I got some lumber or a tool in my hands, my nerves calmed down. When yer workin', you sort of tune everythin' else out and hardly realize yer on a stage at all."

The pair ate enough food for ten people. Both had not eaten a thing since they arrived at the contest.

****

"So, you think those Robots'll be ready to launch tomorrow? I'm pretty excited to see 'em in action, myself." Hardware Guy asked, settling down in his cot – one of dozens that were set up in yet another hall in the convention center, so those without the foresight to book a hotel room in advance had somewhere to sleep before the award ceremony the next morning.

"Yeah, I'd love to see them take down a bad guy or two. Though I doubt any criminals have found JoeCity yet. There isn't much for them to steal there, is there?" Roger replied, laying in the cot next to Hardware Guy's.

They both fell asleep almost instantly. Hardware Guy was exhausted from a day of woodworking and Roger from a night full of driving. It was a well deserved and much needed slumber for both.

****

"THIRD PLACE GOES TO NUMBER THREE, ALSO KNOWN AS JEREMY GATS."

The second runner-up took his place on stage, and the announcer forcefully put a bronze medal around his neck. Jeremy was still rubbing his collarbone when he was handed a check.

"ALONG SIDE THIS BEAUTIFUL BRONZE MEDAL, MR. GATS HAS WON HIMSELF A CASH PRIZE OF TWO-THOUSAND DOLLARS, AS WELL AS A BRAND NEW SET OF POWER TOOLS! CONGRATULATIONS, AND BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!"

The crowd had not finished showing their appreciation for the third place winner when the announcer began again,

"IN SECOND PLACE – NUMBER SIXTY-SEVEN, HARDWARE GUY!"

He wore a large grin as he took his place next to Jeremy and was violently awarded the silver medal.

"HE, TOO, HAS WON A CASH PRIZE. FIVE-THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

Roger, in the audience, had the same reaction as Hardware Guy; they both let out sputtering coughs of disbelief. The announcer handed him a check which was, indeed, written out for five-thousand dollars.

"AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE NEW POWER TOOLS! WELL DONE, HARDWARE GUY, AND MAY YOU SOMEDAY COME BACK, CLEAN SHAVEN, AND TAKE THE GOLD!

"AND NOW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR... OUR FIRST PLACE WINNER, AND THE NEW WOOD WIZARD... NUMBER SEVENTY-SIX! JOHN BELLVINS, GET UP HERE!"

He obliged, smiling his cocky smile. Hubris oozed out of his pores as he strutted to his place on the stage. He did not so much as wince when the announcer slammed the heavy gold metal around his neck.

"AND YOUR CASH PRIZE – TEN-THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

The check John Bellvins received was comically oversized.

"AND, NOT THAT YOU COULDN'T AFFORD TO GET THESE ON YOUR OWN WITH A CHECK LIKE THAT, BUT YOU GET THE FULL SET OF TOOLS, AS WELL! CONGRATULATIONS, WOOD WIZARD!"

"You know I let you win, right?" Hardware Guy whispered, over the crowd's applause, out of the corner of his mouth, so only John Bellvins could hear.