Dream and differ

5.

Gosh. What a headache.
I open my eyes and I have no idea of where I am. Walls are white, blankets are too. I look around and I'm alone.
Hospital? Really? Why?
I suddenly remember some frames of what happened before everything went black.
Jeez, I was singing with Billie Joe Armstrong! And then...
F**K! THAT SHOT!
AND BILLIE!
I feel a bit dizzy but I stand up and I walk towards the (white...) door. It opens when I almost get to it.
"Dad!"
"Sweetheart! What you doing here? Sit down!"
"No! What happened to BJ?"
"Please, sit down honey."
"I said NO. Tell me where he is..." I whine.
He doesn't reply.
I'm in shock. He died. My dad's silent so he must have died.
"Dad..." I start sobbing "Dad, please, tell me what happened..."
He looks at me and sighs.
"He's alive. That's what matters."
He doesn't seem relieved, anyway. But I am. He's still breathing, that's great.
I sit down on the bed.
"How do you feel, honey?"
"I'm fine. Billie's fine too, isn't he?"
"Uhuh."
"..."
"...what?"
"Dad, tell me what happened. I have to know. I need you to tell me how he's doing. Please."
"Ok. Just stay sit on bed and don't freak out."
"I-I promise."
He sighs again.
"You definitely saved his life."
"I tried, but he has been shot anyway..."
"It's true. But as you ran over him the bullet penetreted his chest a few inches apart from the heart. It lacerated his left lung which has been badly damaged, but at least he's alive. And it's thanks to you. He owes you his life."
"But how is he right now?"
"Uhm, this is another matter."
"Why?"
"He's not fine, sweetheart. Not at all."
I wait for him to explain.
"Y'know, his lung has been damaged and his heart is rather weak. He lost a lot of blood as well..." He hesitates. "He went under surgery, but doctors say they're not sure he's going to survive. The next 24 hours will be decisive."
I don't say a word, I'm totally shocked. My dad has just told me I saved his life but I'm not sure I'll see him again. I saved him but he's dying.
And he's probably dying one or two stages apart from me.
"Do you know where he is?"
"Not really, I only know he's here at the hospital."
"Ok thanks."
I stand up and I walk away.
"Where are you going?"
"Well, I'm going to find him."
"I think nobody is allowed to see him..."
"I don't care. He's dying, I'll be by his side."
"Wait..."
I stop and look at my daddy.
"Do you...love him?"
"Maybe."
"You risked your life for him. I was there when he was shot. It could have been you. You're a hero and I'm proud of what you did, so proud I can't even tell. But I just want to know the reason you did that."
"I think I love him, but I have to see him again to know exactly what I feel..."
"It's ok. Just go."