Runaway (Hoseok x Reader, 18+ NSFW)

Chapter 5

The past few weeks were dark and empty for Hoseok. When he returned to Seoul he spent the first couple of days at home, in the now very empty apartment you shared. Everything there reminded him of you, reminded him of him, reminded him of the memories you made there together. The first night was too much, he went to the dorm opting to sleep there, in the room he shared with Jimin.

He tossed and turned the first few nights back, Jimin coming over in the middle of the night to comfort him, sleeping next to him and holding him softly as he tried to adjust to life without you. After a week passed, he finally found the courage to sleep in the bed without you there. He had to remind himself there was a life he lived before you, and there would be a life he would live after you.

Eventually the days turned to weeks and he found himself beginning to heal from the hurt. Life went on as it always did, he had schedules to distract him from his thoughts and he'd found some creative ways to connect with the fans, his beloved army.

Checking his phone as he woke up, he had a text from Namjoon inviting him to lunch after their morning meeting with the label. He roused from bed texting him back a simple "yes" as he walked toward the bathroom to wash up for the day. Aside from Jimin and occasionally Jungkook who seemed attached to Jimin's side, he hadn't seen much of the group aside from official activities in the past weeks.

He realized as he showered that Namjoon had been quiet since the return to Seoul. He figured he was just using his time 'Namjooning' as he lovingly referred to his museum visits and walks through nature. Hoseok finished showering and threw on some casual clothes as the only thing on the schedule today was a meeting about the upcoming photo shoots for their comeback. They were to discuss themes and meet with stylists in the coming days to begin the process.

If there was anything Hoseok was happy for, it was that work never ceased and provided the perfect distraction for the lack of you in his life.

When the meeting concluded Namjoon came over placing his hand on Hobi's shoulder chattering with him over the meeting and the upcoming concepts as they left to go to a nearby restaurant. If Hoseok hadn't known any better he'd say Namjoon seemed tense, seemed a little nervous even. He tried to shake it off but as they were seated Namjoon kept looking down at his hands.

"What is it Namjoon-ah?" Hoseok inquired, looking at Namjoon with concern.

"Huh?" Namjoon looked up at him puzzled, but knowing his demeanor was giving away that he didn't bring Hoseok to lunch without intent.

"You've been fumbling around all day, even now you're not looking me in the eye. What's going on?"

Namjoon furrowed his brow at Hoseok "yeah... I... shit" he looked down at his hands again, clasped, rubbing together vigorously.

"We should talk about some stuff, Hob-ah"

Just then the waitress walked over with their orders, placing them on the table before them. Namjoon hardly glanced at his food before settling his eyes on Hoseok's.

"I... I talked to Sunny..."

Hoseok looked up slowly, anger in his eyes, hurt behind them, a million thoughts of you flooding his brain.

"I mean... before she left... I talked to her at the airport before she left."

Hoseok gripped his chopsticks in his hand hard, swallowing and looking down as his hands shook. He'd tried so hard to get you to talk to him before you left, you ignored his calls, ignored his texts, had all but blocked his number from your phone. The only indication he had that you hadn't in fact blocked his number was the little 'read' timestamp under each of the messages he'd sent you.

His voice shook as he finally spoke up "where did she go?"

"LA" Namjoon answered back softly, "home, hob, she went home."

He blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over his lid taking in this information "and what did she say... at the airport... what did she say?"

Namjoon sighed as he pushed his food around the plate with his chopsticks. "She said that she can't live this life with you. She said that the security and privacy was all too much. She said... she said that she loved you but never getting to share your lives together was hurting her."

Hoseok slammed his fist down on the table before dropping his chopsticks and breathing out angrily, trying desperately to regain his composure.

"sorry... I'm sorry... I just..." he sighed as he slouched back in his seat "I thought she was happy. I thought, I don't know, I thought this, I thought our love was enough."

Namjoon swallowed the lump in his throat, picking up his water to take a small sip.

"I think," he began "I think that she wants to find a balance between the life she lived before and the life she had with you. She just doesn't know how because... well Hob, she's not in control here. She has no say in your relationship."

Hoseok looked up at Namjoon with surprise and tilted his head slightly to the side "you're right... but... why didn't she talk to me about it?"

"Probably thought there was no point, I mean, from her point of view we are artists, idols, before we're boyfriends... lovers."

This seemed to calm Hoseok slightly as he finally began eating a bit of his food slowly and pondering on what Namjoon said. Namjoon sat back a little more relaxed, taking a small bite of noodles, letting the words sink in for them both.

This time when the waitress came around to refill their drinks, they were both silent, eating together quietly, letting the food and thoughts settle in. This time when Hoseok ate his food it wasn't bland, it wasn't unappealing. He ate earnestly with Namjoon quietly, and when the check came, he picked it up and slid his card into the folder, looking up at Namjoon with a soft smile.

They made small talk as they left the restaurant together walking side by side. Hoseok complimented the food and remarked it was the best meal he'd had since they returned to Seoul. Namjoon smiled at that, having his brother back felt nice, but he knew it was far from over.

He finally spoke up as they turned the corner toward their dorm, both walking noticeably slower as they approached.

"You should try to call her... it's been a couple of weeks, maybe she's in a better place to talk."

Hoseok shook his head "I want to give her the space she needs, you're right, she didn't have any control before. I think the best thing I can do right now is let her have some control."

Namjoon nodded "still I'd be willing to bet she misses you and by now may have a better grasp of her feelings."

Hoseok thought for a moment "yeah, maybe you're right. We'll see Joon-ah. The move is hers to make."

They walked into the dorm together to find the maknaes on the sofa in front of the TV. Jimin laying his head on Jungkook's lap, his feet over Tae's lap, fast asleep as the other two were watching a movie. Namjoon and Hoseok smiled "cute" Namjoon commented as they hung up their coats on the rack next to the door.

Hoseok smiled and walked straight for them throwing himself over the three, waking Jimin up as he pounced. Jimin grumbled at being woke up but started laughing as the boys all felt their hyung return to his old self, before the heartbreak, before the loss.